Practical Optimism #2 -- Be Content With Your Office Desk

It's Monday again!  Today my practical optimism wisdom to you is -- be content with your office desk.  You may be ready to throw a punch at me for telling you to be content with your office desk and tell me that I'm a bitch who lounges all day in her PJs and knows nothing about the suffering you go through daily at that desk (which is entirely false!...well on most days).  But hold it for a sec.  I have a darn good reason for saying that.  You know a while ago where I was happy that I finally have an office to myself?  Well that office desk was a make-shift desk.  In fact it is a foldable picnic food table purchased at Walmart for $32.

Yes I'm Walmart's whore.  But it's the first proper store in next town -- 10.4 miles to be exact (I googled.  And no, there is ONLY a tiny grocery store, a gas station, a laundromat, a cornerstore, a coffeeshop, a burger joint, and a restaurant in our town).  So Matt Damon in "We Bought A Zoo", don't you start with how far you have to travel for butter!
Anyways, back on topic.  So as you see, that tabletop is actually made of a very flimsy piece of particle board.  As a matter of fact, the description clearly states that it will only support 60 lbs. of weight.  
Well guess what.  I have a hubby who's 200 lbs and loves to lean against things.  Last night when I was doing some work for him, he decided to put his elbow against my dainty desk.  I, of course, protector of my precious, told me not to or else my desk will crumble under his weight.  
He scoffed as if: 1) I'm not that heavy; 2) That will never happen; and 3) I'm not that heavy.
*CRACK*
Yup.  A crator was formed.  I gave him my infamous "I told you so!" glare and sighed.

Since Walmart was 10.4 miles away and it was in the middle of the night, all I could do was to really make do with the makeshift desk (Writing that out only made me realize how pathetic the whole situation was).


The weapon of choice was this craft cutting mat bumming around in the corner of my study waiting for its moment to save the day.  THIS was its moment.  
In retro-respect, I was lucky the desk didn't really crumble.  Or else my laptop, monitor, three portable hard drives, and my wacom drawing pad would all be tumbling into a big mess.  Then again, this also reminds me I should disperse my computer equipment onto other desks and such.  AND I have to get a sturdier desk.  One that doesn't buckle or self-destruct.
Now you feel better?  That your desk isn't all that crummy now is it?  That or I gave you an ultimate plan to tell your boss you can't work in this condition.  Simply stealthily sand away the bottom of your desk surface like a diligent beaver until it's crackable like an egg shell.  Wait for your moment when your boss walks by, and strategically put your elbows at the weakest spot.  There, you can watch everything spectacularly mudslide into a big pile with surround sound effects.  Then you can give your best actor performance delivering the line "I could really get injured from this!  I just can't work under this condition.  I think I need to have a medical examination to see if I have any internal damage."  There.  Simple.
If that wasn't enough, I have made you girls this useful poster that you can print out and stick it on your significant other's desk.

If you are wondering, I thank my hubby for the inspiration.  I just wish he didn't have to kill my desk.