Hello again. It's been a couple of weeks but to be honest nothing hugely interesting has been happening. Today is Monday, and it's the last day of my 4 day weekend for the month. I work 3 out of 4 so having one off is a really cherished time. This weekend I got drunk 3 out of 4 nights, and went to the beach twice in two days. It felt really really good to rediscover the beach. When I was a bit younger I had a really strong connection to the land, and I mean that seriously - I know it sounds a bit silly but I lived in a shed in the middle of the bush with no one around to talk to and I was fine. Never got lonely, loved my own company. I liked to sleep outside and stuff like that, and though I don't think I realized it at the time, it was the whole 'being at one with nature' that helped me out a lot.
Walking into the sea on the weekend was a definite high point in my last 3 months. I could feel the shit lifting off my shoulders, off my head. Thinking clearly became easy, even though I had only had a couple of hours sleep and by all means should have been hungover and shitty like it has been lately. One simple act helped me out more than anyone has in the last few years, and it was because of me that it happened. Floating out there on the sea, I stopped worrying about people, stopped giving a shit about what they thought of me and stopped regretting how things had turned out. It really was a great thing to do that I can't rate highly enough. I need to get my license so I can get back down there more regularly.
Anyway, apart from that great experience, not heaps else has gone on. I did a lot of thinking over the weekend, including in the sea. I need to get out of this town but I'm working on that, and it'll happen one day. I don't think that I was meant to be hanging around for this long. There isn't anyone left here for me, nothing that interests me to do. I have a good job but that's about it. I give it three months and things should all sort out. I don't really have anything else that I want to buy any more so the road is finally clear to get the fuck out of here. About the only other thing I have to tell about is that one of the girls at work might be keen on me which would be awesome because she seems like a bit of fun and hell I could use some company.
I went to the beach with the bi girl who I picked up at a club a while back and went through a brief awkward phase with before she decided she wasn't going to wait around for me and got a girlfriend. I'm not sad about that at all because to be honest the other girl I was sorta with sorta not with for a 2008 was still in the picture even though she'd moved on and been with other people since me. I didn't really give the bi girl a decent deal at all so I'm happy she found someone who can please her. In addition to all of this there's another girl at work who I have a totally textual relationship with but have never mouthed a single syllable of interest verbally to. It's purely sexual with her - we talk dirty, sometimes even send suggestive pics to each other, though that hasn't happened in a while - but she's very reluctant to get into anything actually physical because of her own issues. I respect that but I still get very frustrated because she is very attractive to me. I don't mean to sound like a player or anything. I haven't been with a girl for a good eight months now and it doesn't look like that'll be ending any time soon, I'm just looking around and giving things a try.
Anyway, the main point is I'm in a good frame of mind and intend for everything to be up and up from here. The whole moderation thing is going well and I really have a good feeling about this year.