Real Life Rant

Posted on the 10 December 2018 by Lifeofasportswife @jessaolson

Full Disclosure. This post will be all over this place but that's what I feel in my mind right now. I just want to get it all out today.
My mind is all over the place. I feel like I just run or move from place to place with no real reason. Also when I get home I am exhausted but I really didn't do a lot of things on my list. Yes, my work is a little demanding. I coach at 3 different gyms. I do a lot of cardio and core workouts with them. Plus my own workouts. So I know my body is adjusting to that but I don't feel like I accomplish anything of my PASSION.
Coaching and teaching people is one of my passions, but it's based on other people cirrculum. I want to coach on this page. I want to share with you workouts that I have been doing and what I think of them. I want to share my life and things that have been going on here in California. I want a community. I have a bunch of things in my drafts and a bazillion notebooks around the house with ideas and everything written out. The only thing i am missing is follow thru. 
I have had ZERO follow through lately. I have had a billion squirrel moments just writting this post. I start writting then remember to text my boss or respond to a text message or check an email or checking to see if the new ipad is avaiable at att yet. I have so many tabs open on my computer and my body. I feel like I have tried everything but things still keep coming to me. 
I have also been working on vision board or future board. I start writing things down that I want for my future self but they are seem so superficial. For example, I want a Louis Vuitton bag. I don't need the bag but something in me is driven by it. Then I think I have an amazing Kate Spade bag that I super wanted but never use. Only during interviews. So why do I need LV bag that I probably won't use as often as it is worth. I have other things on my board but all of it seems irrelvant. Honestly the future board makes me worse than it is motivating. Is that even possible? 
I just feel like I am treading water or head in the cloud. I need direction. I need focus. I really don't know what I need. Anything please message me?! 
I have a lot of self-development books to read right now. Some are good but I feel right now they are saying the exact SAME THING. I don't want to waste my time with them right now. 
I can't help but wonder am I the only one who feels this way? Has anyone else felt this way? What did you do?