I have decided to commit myself to a month of blogging. That means one post a day for a month. I had contemplated a year, 6 months, and 3 months. But honestly, I don’t believe I can commit to any of these longer periods at this point. So starting with a month sounds like a reasonable undertaking.
This one month series focuses on the recognition of Awareness. The whole point is then to “Recognize that you are only Awareness.” This is the fundamental objective for any apparent person who has been exposed to the truth of nonduality and so intuits that it is in fact the truth. Of course to say “objective” implies someone is attempting to achieve something. There is no one to achieve any thing! But since I am talking to you my goal is to point you to the truth that you are not who you think you are but rather the Awareness that lies behind this you.
For post #1 what I want to convey is the basic truth that you as an apparent entity in a world of other apparent separate entities and objects is an utter fiction. This is of course the very belief that you are most militant about defending. The foundation of your whole separateness depends completely on this belief in a you. In effect then, I’m trying to convince you that YOU DO NOT EXIST.
Who’s going to buy that? I certainly would not have many years ago. But by some stroke of fate, or some turn of the whirling illusion of what appears, I came to be struck by this truth after a long period of entheogenic experience. What I’m asking you to do is have the same awakening experience without the aid of pharmacology. This is possible, highly likely even, it’s been done by folks for thousands of years. [What I mean by "experience" is simply a moment in time and space, or the relative appearance of reality, where there is the recognition that it's all an illusion of duality and you are simply the nondual Awareness that sees all of it arising.]
Essentially you as an entity have to stop for a moment and investigate this you that you believe yourself to be. Have you not taken this fundamental assertion of selfhood for granted? Have you ever questioned the reality of this person you think yourself to be? We’ll talk about the physical body later, but for a moment recognize that you are still here if your body falls away. Surely you have some kind of belief that something remains after the body dies, if not then your still in a perfect position for this exercise. When you are not directly aware of the body you still recognize that you are here, you’re present with or without this gross body.
But what should happen if this belief in you were to temporarily dissolve? Actually, you do this all the time yet you don’t realize it. When you’re really entranced by a favorite piece of music and all that seems to exist is the notes themselves…where are you? Do you not “forget yourself”? Thankfully though after the music stops you think, “Wow that was beautiful, I love that song!” And right then the old assertion that you exist comes rushing back with the thought “I love…”. Who loves?
During the song or concerto or whatever you temporarily ceased to exist an an entity. When it ended the thought arose “I love…” and suddenly you existed again. But you might say, “I didn’t cease to exist I simply forgot myself, I wasn’t aware of me at the moment.” But this is the the whole point I’m trying to get across. You, as an entity, is merely a thought arising in an apparent mind which thinks. During the music this mind disengaged and along with it the you. This you you think you are is only a thought. When we are deeply convicted by a very provocative thought we begin to believe in it. Certain thoughts tend to explain everything else within experience.
A thought such as “I exist” helps the mind make sense of the experience appearing before Awareness. This thought is a governing paradigm for all the experience that presents itself. After we accept the belief in me all other experience is interpreted in light of this governing belief. Then all experience happens to me. It is no longer that there is awareness and experience arising upon awareness, there is a me that is aware of things.
When we begin to recognize that there is no duality in reality we see that the belief in ourselves as separate autonomous entities is a fiction, the thought of “I” is simply a thought, the self-assertion. But there is only Awareness or Oneness. When we say “It’s all One” we’re trying to express that reality is one and everything that appears to be separate and multiple is simply an illusion. There is only Awareness in which the appearance of multiplicity arises. The belief in the thought of a you is a basic delusion that keeps you trapped in the duality of separateness.
So if you will, take the rest of the day to reflect on the belief in you as an entity separate from other entities and objects. See if you can penetrate to the core of where this thought arises and why you are so devoted to its truth. Se if you can recognize that you are not this self-assertion but in truth only the Awareness of it. Tomorrow I’ll try to come at this recognition from a slightly different angle.
