Resolved

All right! So New Year 2016 has kicked out the old year and occupied its place in our dates. Whenever this coup happens, as it happens every year, we humans sit around listing out all the things that we think we ought to be doing, rather than what we actually like doing, and call them resolutions. I, being no rebel and wanting desperately to BELONG, have always observed this religious practice...err...religiously.
I think it all started when I was in my 10th at school. THAT was the year when we had the so-called public exams and our pathetic effusions in exams would be judged not by the relatively benevolent teachers of our school but by some faceless impersonal examiners. So, came January, I resolved to do better at studying at home.
After all, reading Alistair McLean suitably ensconced within my physics textbook had not improved my understanding of refraction. James Hadley Chase, similarly embraced by the Mathematics book, was no help to me in solving quadratic equations. The biggest surprise was English. One would have expected that any reading would help in English but, can you believe it, despite holding my Leslie Charteris within the grammar books, I could not identify a gerund, even if it were served with chilly sauce and garnished with participles.
So, then and there I made my first new year resolution - that in THAT year I would regularly study for four hours every evening. AND, in that year, I realized the most important thing about resolutions. That they are very fragile creatures and would break with very slight or even no provocation. Actually, for me, it was more of that no-provocation thingy. All that happened was that on Jan 1, I had a Ludlum and decided that I would just postpone things by a day and, from Jan 2, I would stick my nose into the anatomy of a cockroach. And so it went and, before I knew it, the year was over! Never thought time would move so fast. It was really not my fault...if time ran away from me, what could I do?
Even without the benefit of a spider taking coaching classes in persistence, Robert Bruce could not beat me at it. Every year, with near-fanatical fervor, I made my resolutions. Every year, with equal fanaticism, they insisted on proving their fragility. The competition has always been very fierce. The score - Me: 0; Resolutions: 37.
This year, though, I am determined to win. So, resolution 1 was "I shall NOT break my resolutions". Resolution 2: Hmmm...This resolution 1 drastically restricts the options available for resolution 2. What do I do?
Do you see that bright bulb above my head? IDEA!
Resolution 2: I shall DO exactly what I did in 2015 viz. laze around, watching TV, reading books and listening to music.
So, there. Next year the report card shall read Me:1; Resolutions: 37!