Stitch rocks! (via weheartit.com)
As a cinephile, I always have a long list of movies to watch. Because of this, I’ve developed certain rules to weed out stuff I don’t like and focus on movies that have the potential to inspire or entertain me. This isn’t a “good movie vs. bad movie” system, it’s just a few rules that work for me specifically:
Rules for Movies I Watch
1. Any movie set in Hawaii – The Descendants, 50 First Dates, Lilo and Stitch, Blue Crush
2. Any movie featuring quirky misfits, nerds or weirdos – Almost Famous, Bridesmaids, Ghost World, The Craft, Judd Apatow and Alexander Payne films in general
3. Road trip/plane trip/vacation movies – Up in the Air, Almost Famous, Into the Wild, One Week
4. Movies featuring character actors I recognize but can’t name – Patton Oswalt in Young Adult (I seriously LOVE this guy); Frances Conroy – mostly on tv (American Horror Story, Six Feet Under) but I loooove her; Margot Martindale – Paris je ‘taime, The Hours; J.K. Simmons – Juno, Up in the Air
5. Horror movies featuring demons, vampires and witches – Blair Witch Project, Paranormal Activity, Interview with the Vampire
6. Bad slasher flicks with boobies – Halloween, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, also any slasher movie shot in 3D… I know… I’m a weirdo.
7. Anything with Maya Rudolph – Away We Go, Prairie Home Companion, Bridesmaids
8. Any movie featuring Sad George Clooney (as opposed to Sauve George Clooney) - The Descendants (seriously this movie is SO good!), Up in the Air
Rules for Movies I Avoid
9. Movies where animals are lost, killed, endangered or abandoned OR where mommy animals die (f*cking Bambi)
10. Adam Sandler comedies from 2000 to present (with the exception of 50 First Dates *see rule #1) but I do like Spanglish and Funny People.
11. Anything with Cameron Diaz - every time I see her in a movie, it’s a role that’s incredibly sexist and shallow. Nothing against her specifically, but I can’t say that I enjoy famous actresses who consistently choose sexist roles (exception for Gangs of New York but, seriously, how did she get that part?) You could say the same thing about Katherine Heigl, Kate Hudson and several other actresses, I just dislike Cameron Diaz the most. Also, I used to not like Gwyneth Paltrow, but then she was on Glee and I kinda liked it…
12. Horror movies about aliens, mummies or werewolves
13. Any movie that takes place in outer space
14. Any movie shot completely in Motion Capture Animation – I grew up during the Disney Renaissance (The Lion King, Aladdin, Pocahontas, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast) and I wanted to be a Disney animator when I was little. Needless to say, beautiful hand-painted backgrounds and hand-drawn characters are deeply nostalgic for me. I think the scenery in Fern Gully (not a Disney film) belongs in an art museum. I don’t mind computer animation, but I draw the line with motion capture animation. The point of animation is NOT to get as close as possible to reality. The result looks gross and artless. Motion capture is devoid of any heart and always leaves me thinking, “why didn’t they save their money and shoot live-action instead?”
15. Comic book movies - exception for Batman movies directed by either Tim Burton or Christopher Nolan
16. Anything produced by Jerry Bruckheimer – I seriously hate every movie and television show that guy has ever made. I realize I’m in the minority. When I think of a Bruckheimer movie, I just picture exploding robots telling bad jokes to ladies wearing push-up bras…. oh…. that’s why he’s popular… I get it now (I’m not even being sarcastic, it seriously just clicked.)
Again, these rules are skewed to my specific taste. What are your movie watching rules? What actors do you avoid? Who’s your favourite director? Tell me in the comments!
