Well today, I'm going to put together a short beginning list of the stupid frustrating crap I deal with regularly.
1. Those people who come in and order coffee and, like, an appetizer, and take up your table for 2 hours, and make you get them refills and a new straw because theirs is too bendy and want extra sauce on the side and could you have them use broccoli instead of onions? and then their bill is like 12 bucks and they leave you a dollar fifty.
Wow. Could be worse.
2. People who leave you a 10% tip and a pamphlet about coming to Jesus. Yeah, salvation doesn't pay the bills, folks. And I cleaned up after your three obnoxiously messy children for an hour and a half. I thought Christians were supposed to give and be merciful and crap like that? This lady thinks so. Evangelism does not make up for greediness!** (<---those asterisks lead to sappiness, fair warning)
3. People who stay an hour and a half after we've obviously closed, just sipping their coffee and chatting. Guys. There's a bar right downstairs, and numerous cafes and open-late restaurants in the area. Get a clue. Go away. Like, you're not even still eating and you've already had 4 cups of coffee. *sigh* Maybe we should charge for coffee refills.
4. People who change their minds fifty times, nitpick their order to its bones, mumble their words, and then get pissed when you bring them the broccoli and not the escarole because, woops, I guess after going back and forth twenty-six times they landed on the escarole. OR they just changed their mind again and are full of shit. But either way, you're sure as hell getting the blame for it.
Good news? I'd say a good 80 to 85% of my customers are actually reasonably nice, and 60% of them are downright pleasant. I also generally do very well tip-wise, and it's a fairly pricey menu so 20% of the bill is pretty damn good. My managers are also very cool, down-to-earth, and both of them started as waitresses there...so they know exactly the bullshit we're dealing with. And I've never once seen them throw a server under the bus with an angry customer. It also helps that our head chef is a legitimate genius and his food is easy to get behind. The only things I don't personally recommend are the beets and the veal, and that's only because I either hate them or think they were deeply and cruelly mistreated and therefore haven't tried them. You can figure out which is which.
*sniff* It's so cruel. They're so young, and have never gotten to experience a full, rich life...
And it should be noted that this is always followed by a "but I hear they're both very tasty." And I generally don't tell people I think they're insensitive for eating certain foods, I just say I don't particularly like it. Because I'm nice like that (and trying to upsell and also make the restaurant look good).
I am sure I will have more to complain about later. Or hey, maybe not...maybe I'll have more awesome stuff to say. I do legitimately like this job, after all.
**Some of the best, and most Christian, Christians I ever knew were the couple who gave Josh and I $20 when we were struggling...and so were they. That $20 on top of all the love, company and support they gave us meant the world at the time, especially since I knew pennies were being collected to buy new shoes for the kids. THAT, to me, was the most beautiful example I've ever seen of Jesus-like giving and goodness. And they evangelized too, on a lovely and un-obnoxious level that they backed up 100% with their beautiful, faith-filled lives. You two know who you are, and I hope you know how much that meant to my life, my well-being, and my heart (and I don't want to speak for him, but I have a feeling Josh would be saying exactly the same thing). You helped me believe Christians could be good again after having been hurt so deeply by them. And I judge selfish tippers now by a standard of YOU! ;)
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