I already had this idea in my head when I checked my mail…NaBloPoMo say what? Ohhh, National Blog Posting Month. Okay, not a problem. Challenge accepted. So here I go. The first post of the month is going to be about how to say no. Ha. It is NOvember after all.
I just want you to take a moment and imagine this scenario (wavy lines appear)…you go into your boss’s office at work. You politely tell her that you have been working really hard lately and the bottom line is, you deserve a raise. She looks at you and nods her head, and says “Yes, you are right. I wouldn’t want to hurt your feelings by turning you down, so of course you can have one.” Poof. Now back to reality. On what planet does this EVER happen? Not the one I live on for sure.
I know people who are always doing things for others. They have big hearts and even bigger plates. The normal sized plate might be half-full or maybe you have eaten your favorite things first and saved your least favorite items for last. These wonderful people keep filling their plate full and never see what the bottom looks like. They might be afraid to tell people “No, I really can’t find time for that right now.” But as my friend kept saying this weekend, YOLO baby. You Only Live Once. I think I will now begin to apply that to everything I do in life. It makes perfect sense.
My problem begins with pushy people. You know the ones. You have tried to say no in a polite way, but for whatever reason, they just keep asking you the same question. It might be a relative of some sort. Ahem. Not saying, but if it were, I might begin to screen my calls. This person knows that I have overcome some health issues and might call me on the premise of checking on me, but somehow turns it around to what they want. Every. Single. Time. Guilt sets in. Frustration. Wanting to do what is right. And after I have ultimately caved in, they leave me alone until the next favor. NO MORE. YOLO baby. I am going to say no…or just ignore you and hope you go away.
I decided to stop being nice. I can’t afford to make rookie mistakes like starting with an apology…oh no. That is a sign of weakness and Ms. Pushy will go in for the kill. Do not apologize. You are just as important as whatever it is Ms. Pushy wants you to do. Your time is valuable as well, and you better start believing it or you will look back and wonder where your time has gone. People make excuses all the time. Do you think Ms. Pushy thinks about you when she isn’t busy asking you for favors? Nope. Not a bit. I have actually cut someone out of my life by doing this, but they haven’t seemed to notice. My guess is they moved on to the next person who will listen to stories about how they are the center of the universe and arrange their calendars around what they want to do. Good for them. YOLO baby.
So, for NOvember, you have one goal. Practice saying no if this post applies to you. Go forth, and say no.
“Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can’t, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.” ~Robert Frost