That's how I feel today. The term was coined by the lovely Emma over at Charcoal Renderings and I use it quite often now.
Although I had a lovely week of birthday awesomeness last week, this weekend was just weird and I hate to say, but it's put me in a foul mood at the start of this new week.
The weather in Virginia has been teasing me. It was warm and beautiful and sunshiney on Friday. But then there was wind. And then the sun went down. And it got COLD. And I had to begrudgingly exchange my sundress and sandals that showed off my freshly pedicured toes for jeans and boots and layers of warm shirts. And I was not happy about it.
Saturday I thought, perhaps, it might be warm and lovely again. But alas, it was not. So I opted for sweatshirts and tshirts and the general look of blah because that reflected how I felt. And that night, all I wanted to do was nothing, so I dozed in front of the TV on and off for a while.
Sunday was very similar. I planned to go to the main service at 9:30am and then the young adult service at 11am. But despite the fact that I went to bed at 11pm on Saturday and my alarm went off at 8am (translation: 9 full hours of sleep), I bemoaned that alarm and rolled over and fell back asleep so I only made it to church for the young adult service at 11am. And I didn't even leave the house in time to get Starbucks before the service.
Then last night, even though I had nothing I was required to do after I finished watching "Once Upon a Time," I somehow didn't end up going to bed until 11pm. Which wouldn't be so bad if my alarm wasn't going off at 5am. And I slept horrendously. I woke up at least three or four times, often confused as to what time it was. When my alarm finally went off I felt so out of whack it wasn't even funny.
And then, as soon as I got into work, things went crazy and I had 30 emails to respond to from Friday and I just wanted to drive back home, go back to bed and start the day all over again.
Things have just been so meh as of late. It's been two weeks and I'm still looking for a car, which, despite Office Boy's assurance that it's supposed to be a fun process, makes me want to punch a baby. I just want a freaking car. That's all. Is that so hard to ask? Apparently so.
I also feel awful because not only have I somewhat neglected this here blog, I've completely neglected my A&E blog and my project blog. Like hardcore. And I'm supposed to be posting on my project blog every day. Oy vey.
My wonderful friend Emily (who just started blogging!) found a job that would be perfect for me. Except it's in Newport News. And I already have a job that I've only been working at for three months and leaving a job after three months (unless it's only supposed to be for three months) doesn't exactly look very good on a resume. Stupid resumes.
As you might be able to tell by now, there isn't a real point to this post. Except that I'm feeling schmerg. I think part of it is a combination of the up and down weather which is somehow making me super tired all the time and just generally not wanting to do anything but watch Netflix all day long.
That and, I hate to admit it, but I have been royally failing at spending some quality time with Jesus as of late. It was a goal of mine to begin spending more time in the Word each day, especially now that Easter pageant rehearsals have started. And I sat down and looked at my journal the other day and realized that I've not spent any solid time in prayer since the year started. I know this because I journal all my prayers. How sad is that? It's ridiculous.
And He stills loves me. Even when I suck at life. Even when I'm feeling schmerg. Even when I don't like my job and I don't have a car and I don't feel like my life has any direction or purpose.
Last night, I posted on my Facebook status that I really love the song "Crazy Girl" by Eli Young Band. I don't know why, I just do. Then a friend commented and pointed out that the song perfectly resembles God's love for us. And I was like, "Holy cow! You're right!" And I have a whole new perspective on that song now. And I love it even more.
Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?I wouldn't dream of going nowhereSilly woman, come here let me hold youHave I told you lately?I love you like crazy, girl
PS. I specifically didn't put the official music video because, as another friend pointed out, it kind of ruins the song. So just listen to it and enjoy. :)
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