When I spoke to a friend today about writing this post, her advice was to write it and then sleep on it before publishing. So naturally, I am writing it and publishing it in the same day.
I know that sleeping on it sometimes changes the way of how something is said, but it often times also leads to nothing being said at all. People then bottle up their feelings, let them build up, and then one day let it all come hurling out over what usually is something rather insignificant. I prefer to speak my peace now, I will try to work on putting it eloquently at the same time.
For a few weeks now I have been absent from writing. While I have adopted an almost nightly workout routine, I also am in the midst of wedding planning.
But let’s rewind a few months. Late in 2012, Brian & I sat down together and honestly discussed eloping. Weddings are a serious expense and for the same investment, we could have made a down payment on our first home. We went over the pros and cons of it all and ultimately decided to have a small wedding ceremony & reception with our closest family & friends. Our reasoning was simple, ultimately in the end we wanted to celebrate our special day with those who mean so much to us. While materialistic items, like a home…and all the nice Crate & Barrel junk I could have filled it with would have been wonderful, I have always believed that actions speak louder than words. Therefore, celebrating with family was more important.
Planning a wedding though is not what it is cracked up to be. It is a serious test of patience. It can be stressful. It is an emotional roller coaster. It is an incredible judgment of character of not only yourself, but of others.
My mother who has been out of work due to a back injury and is in-between doctors, different tests, etc. is going to find a way to come up with the extra money to get herself to Florida and sit on a plane with her back pain for 2+ hours…each way. My dad bought me the world’s most beautiful wedding dress and will be there to walk me down the aisle. My brother and sister-in-law are taking time off from their incredibly demanding jobs in D.C. to attend. Brian’s parents have volunteered themselves helping with any plans that they can and are going to be there with us to celebrate. Our friends from childhood who we consider family and have not seen in years are both making the journey down to be present with us. My best friend has been available for every phone call, dress shopping event, email question and anything else you can think of. I have unofficially turned her into my official wedding planner, and I cannot thank her enough.
The point of my somewhat coherent rambling is this, for all of those stressful, patience-testing moments, for all those times when I felt inconvenienced, I look at all of the unbelievably heart touching stories I already have from those who are going out of their way to come celebrate with us. While it is financially a large investment for us, it is also a large investment for them as well. With travel and time off included it is a lot to ask anyone.
Sure, there are some aches and pains associated with the downsides that have come as a result of the wedding. There are things said, things not said, and feelings that get hurt. I sat this weekend and wondered if Brian & I made the right choice or if eloping would have been easier. And the answer is absolutely, without-a-doubt yes. Eloping would have been easier for all parties involved. The easy option though is not always the right one.
Any doubt I had ended when I spoke with my 91-year-old Grandfather yesterday. I had not received his RSVP back, and wondered if he would be able to attend. Knowing that he needs assistance traveling and getting around on either end I knew this was not an easy mission for him. His response, “by hook or by crook, I’ll be there darling.”
Yes, I could have bought a home. Sure, I could have purchased every item on my materialistic wish list. It would have been beautiful and wonderful and meant nothing.
I have no regrets about the decision we made. Our time here on Earth is short, and I cherish the moments and opportunities I am afforded when I get to see people I care about. I try my best to live in accordance with that belief. Actions will always, always speak louder than any words ever could.
Now holding my peace,
Stephanie