Yesterday, I wrote a post. It was good, for the most part. It articulated, in some ways, what I wanted to say. I published it at 11:57pm. And by 12:20am, I took it down.
It wasn't that I was ashamed of what I wrote. It wasn't that I thought it was horrible. It wasn't that I thought it was wrong. I took it down because I know that I'm capable of so much more than that.
I share my life with you on this blog. I share my thoughts. I share the things the Lord is teaching me. I share funny anecdotes. I share a lot of things here with you, some people I know in real life and others that I don't.
I can't say I'm ever really afraid of oversharing. I'm careful to make sure that things I write don't compromise the security and safety of myself and other people I know, but I'm committed to showing you my heart. I learn so much better by experience than I do by instruction. When someone tells me a story that teaches a lesson, it sticks so much better than when someone just teaches me a lesson straight up.
And so that is what I have committed (though never formally, I suppose) to do on this blog.
I want this blog to be a place of encouragement. I want this blog to be a place of fun and laughter, but I also want it to be a place where you can see the brokenness and the struggle and the process. But the one thing I never want to do is do something halfway, and I feel like I've been doing that recently, and for that, I apologize.
I believe strongly that anything that is done should be done excellently and to the best of your ability. Sometimes my perfectionist tendencies get me in trouble, but for the most part, I think they're a good thing. It means that when I do things, I do them well. But I feel like that hasn't been the case with my writing recently.
I determined that I would write three posts a week this year. Though not formally, my plan was one post on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Some weeks, I've done that I've done it well. Other weeks...not so much. And this hasn't really been because I've just been oh-so-busy. It's been because I've let my priorities slip, and so I find myself writing posts that are kind of good but not as good as they could be and posting them three minutes before midnight.
I have personally committed to excellence as a writer. I don't ever want the way I have written something or the grammatical or syntax errors to take away from the message that God has given me. I don't ever want someone to be distracted from what God could show them because I only put in a so-so effort.
A few weeks back, I wrote about how I was feeling insecure about my writing, about how I wasn't gaining followers, about how I wasn't getting comments. And I realized that the fault is at least partially mine. I haven't made the effort that I should be making in order to be excellent. My blog and my writings on it have become an afterthought, something that gets done at the end of the day if I have time, or at the last minute.
I don't want it to be that way. I don't want to do anything -- especially not the thing I love to do the most -- without excellence.
And so, my readers, I apologize to you for not making the effort. I apologize to you for making this blog only so-so for most of this year. And I am committing to excellence this year.
I'm going to be narrowing my focus and trying to bring a bit more structure to what I write and when I write it for both your sake and mine. As much as I love writing about the funny anecdotes of my life, I want my writing to do more than just make people laugh or smile. So while those won't go away completely because I do believe it's important to share my life with you, they're going to be less frequent. I want my writing to encourage and inspire. I want my writing to make you want to act and do. I want this little corner of the internet I've created for myself to be one where you get excited about coming to and you always leave with a motivation to do something to make the world better.
So there will be a posting schedule. There will be more specific topics. I've got a redesign on the brain along with a domain move (don't worry...I'll be sure to announce it in plenty of time so you can adjust your GReaders and such).
If you have things that I've written about that you really love that you'd like to see more of, please tell me. I'd love your feedback. I'd love to know what makes you love Shades of Shayes.
But there will be no more half-assing it around here anymore. There will be no more less-than-excellent effort. Things certainly won't be absolutely perfect, but I will always strive for excellence in what I share with you here. Thanks for sticking around even when I've been less-than-excellent.
What are some suggestions for improvement? What topics do you really enjoy reading about? What posts are your favorite? What would you like to see more or less of here on Shades of Shayes? Any feedback is appreciated.
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