After my sophomore year in public high school, I switched and attended a private high school for the last two years.
At the end of my senior year, one of my newer friends said, “We knew you’d be a handful after the first day you were here when you walked up to us in the lunchroom, took one look at the corn on our trays – and made some reference to it ‘showing up later’ in the bathroom.”
I was a little horrified to think I said that to people I didn’t know at the time, but that kind of sums up my personality.
I have always said exactly what’s on my mind.
Unless I have a few cocktails – then I tell you what’s in my soul and every single secret anyone has ever shared with me, ever.
My mom often told me that I was her most challenging child of the four she raised. She said that I was the first child she knew who expressed every thought by age 8.
It’s actually a little amazing now that I think about it. I grew up in a small Midwest Scandinavian-influenced town; expressing your innermost thoughts wasn’t exactly popular. In fact, it was often shamed.
I was raised around some men who thought that women shouldn’t belch, pass gas, or swear – my brother even commented once that “I swore like a guy”. I thought that was the craziest thing I’d ever heard and I’ll be damned if it didn’t spur on my desire for taking slang to a whole new level!
I have always spoken up when I don’t agree with how people and animals are being treated. This was always well received in the land where animals are often just a means to an end.
I spoke up to my parents, older kids, and my teachers which gave me the confidence to speak up to my bullies, my professors, and my supervisors.
Many people have tried to silence my fatness, my loudness, my sexual expression, my critical thinking, my laughter, my tears, my screaming, and through it all – my voice refuses to be ignored.
I want to honor the voice that we all have but often question the validity of. I want to talk about the things people say you shouldn’t talk about.
I want to say the very things others are thinking, but fear uttering aloud.
The only exception to this is if it is used to intentionally harm anyone for any reason.
Why?
Because silence suffocates. Secrets shame. And monsters are so much scarier in the dark.
Taboo Tuesdays ia your chance to email me any questions, share thoughts and feelings – or just wonder “out loud.” I will never share your name – or if you want, you can simply comment when you feel moved to do so.
I’ll also be writing on Taboo Topics as they relate to our humanness, and trust me there are more topics “off limits” than you realize.
These posts are for every person in this world who has feared (and many still do) expressing any part of who they are, any thoughts in their head, or how they feel.
My hope is that by shedding light onto the things we think we shouldn’t show in daylight - we’ll realize how totally normal we all are.
Together, we can let the shame go – a little at a time.