I've taken time out, so it seems, well, its pretty evident. Not sure what happened, felt stuck, as if I were in a fog and could only see a hands width in front of me. I didn't know when it started, but it felt like the moment that I had resolved to make changes that there would be some resistance.
I think I had taken to much on my plate, as well as posting I am taking part in the courses - Soul Food and Life book, as well as dealing with the day to day. I think the challenge would have been fine if I didn't try and do a vlog and edit and post. Keeping it real via the video is what I wanted but it seem to take forever and a day to load a 15 minute ramble, and then the fog came, and I stopped.
On top of all this as a family we have mourned the loss of my brother - Robert, there is no preparation to how you will feel, or how to deal with it all, . The year has gone quickly, it's weird, and then again feels like forever, the loss still raw in our hearts and minds. We remember his joy, his sense of humor, his love, warmth, his strength.
I paint, I draw, I create, as a way through. I remember my conversations with Robert and the things I said I would explore, so many things that I don't want to let anymore time pass before I get to do them, and so I change. Change is good. I am still going to make the healthy changes that I said I would, I just won't worry about giving you a blow by blow video update, because essentially I want to pour all of that time into creating. I want to paint, I need to paint, it has become as essential to my heart as breathing is to my lungs, and a way to allow the heart to heal from the loss of the past few years. Perhaps this is another lesson learnt from the challenge.
I will share with you some of the pieces as I finish them, and I am quite excited by the some of them. This painting is called Together...it is about our relationships
Together - Mixed media
Together - Though time and dimensions may separate, you will always be in my heart. Came from the same source to lead different lives, you were a strength and a support from the start.
We have to invest in our relationships and make the most of every opportunity, and knowing our purpose live as if it were our last day on the earth.
Blessings always!
We have raised £1530 for Myeloma UK, if you want to donate you can do so HERE