Talking About Our Problems Is Our Greatest Addiction...

There really are so many wonderful days in life to be grateful for. Days filled with smiles and laughter and beautiful moments you will cherish for the rest of your life.
And then there are days where you just want to give up. You are frustrated. You sit there and scream at the top of your lungs "Why?!".
I have been having a couple of those kind of days lately. I know it is not good to be stressed out since I am pregnant, but how do you turn your brain off or really make yourself relax?
These days all came to a head on Monday. Lately Ryan and I have been so stressed out. A few weeks ago, Ryan was told that if he didn't drop his packet to get out of the Army ASAP, then they would box him into getting deployed again to Afghanistan next January or February. We originally planned to get out next March or April, so this was a huge change. We will now be officially out the first week of November.
Our daughter is due October 1st. We hope to move back to the East coast, preferably the Southeast, so that means we may be moving with a 2-3 week old infant. This has brought us both so much anxiety. Whereas most parents are settling in with their new little one, running on barely any sleep, just trying to figure out this huge life adjustment - we would have to also be trying to make a 20-30 hour drive across the country with a newborn and a crazy boxer. Just sitting down and trying to think of everything we would have to have in the car to accommodate that trip makes me sick to my stomach. I'm also worried about disrupting our new baby's schedule...If the baby sleeps the majority of the day driving time, will she be screaming and awake the few precious hours we would have to sleep at the hotels at night?!
So that right there has been our biggest worry...on top of just praying that Ryan gets a good job offer by then. Then last week we went and purchased everything we had left to buy for the baby. Let me tell you, baby stuff is EXPENSIVE. We knew this was coming and we are so grateful for all the gifts we received that significantly cut the amount we ended up paying out of our pocket...but still, it was a chunk of change.
Monday morning I had to rush Marcy to the vet. She was really sick and it escalated to a horrible state in the process of two days. I was crying that morning because I could not believe how awful her ears were and how sick she was. Ryan and I agreed that we would just accept whatever needed to be done and pay the vet to help Marcy. I walked out of the vet with 6 different medicines and a $300 bill. Still, Marcy is very low maintenance and we basically just pay for her food and then vaccinations once a year. I was just happy we had a solution to her illness. So I sit at home the rest of the day with Marcy, waiting for Ryan to come home. 6pm passes, 9pm passes...finally Ryan gets home at 10pm. This is a typical thing that occurs in the military lifestyle. The unit we are in is ridiculous. So Ryan walks in, miserable, mostly because he has had a terrible sinus cold and Monday seemed to be the worst of it. He goes upstairs to shower and I finally start dinner. I decide to wash some of Marcy's blankets so they are clean now that she started medicine. I start the washer and head downstairs...
And then I hear this horrendous noise coming from the washer. I run upstairs and immediately shut it off. The entire drum inside the washer had somehow dislocated and thrown itself forward...ie, the washer was completely destroyed and broken. I have no idea how this happened. All I know is we just bought this washer about 7 months ago and invested in what we thought was a quality appliance. I burst into tears. Ryan came running out and all I could say is "Why is all of this happening right now?!" I know how much money we have had to spend in the past few weeks and now our $1000 washer just basically exploded for no apparent reason. Somehow Ryan managed to make a few silly faces and get me to laugh as tears were pouring down my face...
We do have a warranty for a year, so I have been working for 2 days to get our washer fixed with no success. Unfortunately, I had saved up about 2 weeks worth of laundry to do on Tuesday, so we basically have no clean clothes. You never really appreciate conveniences until they are taken away. So we will probably spend Friday (Ryan's day off) sitting in a laundromat doing loads of laundry...
I woke up yesterday morning with cramps and spotting...I'm sure it was due to how stressed out I have been. I knew I needed to get a handle on myself because I cannot keep putting this pressure on my body or the baby. So I went and got my hair cut. And I talked for an hour to my hair stylist. I laughed. I left feeling 1,000 times better and so much more relaxed. The rest of the day I thought about all these things that have been making me so worried.
How often do we sit around and just complain about our problems? What is the proportion of time we use to vent to our BFF's in comparison to the time we sit and share our greatest joys? Yes, life has been so crazy lately for my family. I am a planner so us not having a plan is hard for me to deal with. Yep, it's been a VERY expensive month, and depending on what happens with the washer, it may get even more expensive.
But I can choose to sit and dwell on these things or I can decide that I will only focus on the positives. We have had a pretty great positive streak during 2013. We found out we were pregnant, no one has gotten injured or very sick, we've taken multiple trips to see family and friends, we've had no major repairs or costs come up...so negative things are bound to eventually happen to us, that's life. I think when bad things happen, they hurt so much in the moment that you forget to really look at them in the grand scheme of things. When I hold these few incidents out in front of me and compare them to the past year, they are pretty much the only major negative things that we have stumbled upon. Looking at these past few weeks in that light makes me realize that we are so blessed that THIS is the worst thing that has occurred in our life. We aren't dead, we aren't going into debt, our baby is healthy and she will be coming into our lives very soon!

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I love the print on the left. Do you know how many times I have gone through tough times or loss, only to look back and see why exactly I went through those trials? I know that God always has a plan. I also know that no matter how much I sit and worry about something, it's not going to change the outcome. God knows where we will be moving in November, He knows whether or not LG will cover our washer or if we will have to buy a new one, He has his hand over the insane cross country newborn trip that is likely in our future...Why sit here and be miserable at the laundromat on Friday? Why not use that time to eat a picnic lunch with Ryan and chat about everything we are excited for in the next few months? I don't need to be concerned about all these things that will work themselves out. This doesn't mean I won't be proactive and try my hardest to get our washer replaced or sit with Ryan and help him prepare for interviews so he gets a great job...but it does mean I'm not going to lay in bed at night filled with anxiety - I'm not going to be a negative nancy every day Ryan comes home from work and I still have been getting the run around about the washer or I'm dealing with a very sick dog. I will choose to view these momentary problems in our life as just that - momentary. As my sister joked on the phone yesterday, "Sistorrr, this too shall pass..."
So I encourage you to pause for a moment and try to view the negative things in your life through a different perspective. Yes, you may be going through the hardest thing you have ever experienced. It's ok to feel sad or frustrated or hurt by what is going on. Trust me, I have persevered through some pretty dark or disappointing times myself - 10,000 times worse than the things we have been going through lately.
But hold theses problems up against the rest of your week, your year, your life...I am sure you have so many positive things to be grateful for. I promise that focusing on those positive things will make getting through the rough patches so much easier. You will feel a weight lifted off you and that pit in your stomach will disappear.
Ha, I don't want to sound all "preachy"...lord knows I need to take my own advice. But I really wanted to share all of this because I was so shocked at the difference that switching my train of thought had on my body and mind. I literally felt like a 5,000 pound weight was lifted off of me and began to actually experience joy in my heart. I really do have so much to be excited and happy for...and I choose to move forward focusing on those things (:








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