Blogging is dead. Well, personal blogging is, anyway. Sports blogs, mommie and fashion and style blogs, tech topics and something called “blogging influencers”are all the rage now. Some even have corporate backing They’re making money for hawking Baboon Ass Pink lipstick. I’m all for capitalism but…
I started this blog and the timing was right. Before “micro aggressions and triggered” before the butt of late night show hosts. allowed me to. become part of this comfy little cyber neighbithoodvwith a decent HOA. I made friends with people all over the world. It helped me stay sane through insane relationships and being jobless and flat broke. It was a place to go to after heading to the mailbox, and opening my mail box and staring back at me was. stack of envelopes of various shapes and sizes…none looked alike but the each contained the same bad news. I didn’t need to open them. They were either job rejection letters or bills that I had no means of paying. This blog became this warm space I could go to and write something that would prompt my fellow bloggers to sympathize, empathize, offer advice. They’d verbally kick my butt and tell me to stop whining. Or handle me gingerly and allow the crush of reality to come much easier.
It’s not like that anymore. Maybe because I’m not like that anymore. Things are different. I’m different. I have MS, and two parents who are nearing 90 and growing more feeble each day. I have very big decisions to make about things I never dreamed would be on my ‘to do” list. I have priorities that need to retooled or abandoned. I’ve got some friends who are ill. Other relationships are in dire need of attention.
Blogging means nothing in real life.
I was advised to try writing again as an exercise for gray matter, But something was missing. “It” wasn’t there, neither was the drive or the magic to be found in a comment that read, “I really enjoyed that post”. And when I’d get a comment like that, it didn’t have the impact it had 12-yesrs ago, My ego and narcissism have finally self-absorbed each other. How appropriate.
I’ve learned never to say ever, but I think that as 2019 slips into general oblivion, my blog will go along with it. My heart isn’t in it, and neither was yours.. I have no readers and no desire to try cute or creative ways to lure more readers my way. Things change and people change with them. An inevitability. It was a fun ride for a while, but it’s time to really live my jeopardy-like life and go deep to find the questions to all the answers in my mind.
So, in a few days, this blog will go back on the shelf of Impermanence. Like the Buddhist style of impermanence which is the religions’ number one inescapable, essential painful but principle fact of life. Thank
