When my hubby and I started dating, I was at the peak of my own PR business. I was traveling often, working late most nights, and spending weekends either networking or catching-up on personal to-do's.
I hired a cleaning service, laundry service, and even had my groceries delivered. Dating was sometimes inconvenient.
Had I not fallen in love with the man that was bound to become my hubby, I would have kept doing what I was doing.
But the story goes in a different direction: Not only did "we" fall in love, we started talking about the future, building plans and eventually changing life courses.
My hi-rise office moved into our home, and my travels started to stop once I turned away business or partnered with others that could do the traveling for me.
Eventually, staying at home and watching TV with my hubby and Chatito, was a lot more fulfilling than signing on a $20K a month client. So I shopped less, did my own errands and laundry, and worked on my marriage.
Because it's work. Marriage is.
But sometimes you have-to travel. Sometimes, mostly me and never my hubby, I have to pack-up my stuff, schedule a dog sitter, fill the refrigerator, and travel. For blogging. for my business, and for school.
It happens.
Life happens.
But never have we been apart for social occasions. Meaning, we never take vacations apart, and rarely do we do any friend anything without each-other.
That's just part of who are, how we've grown in our marriage, and what works for us.
So when we found out my hubby's sister was getting married for a second time clear across the country, we initially planned to make a mini-vacation out of that trip.
But of course, things happen, including a change in the wedding date and school. Gosh, darn, pesky school.
I didn't go - but of course my hubby couldn't miss out.
At first he was completely opposed to the idea of traveling without me: "I really don't want to go without you." He told me more than once. "But it's your sisters wedding," I would respond.
So he made plans, without me, the less I knew the better. Eventually I found out that the wedding was planned during the last summer weekend of the year.
"Our" last summer weekend of the year.
Short of canceling the trip, my hubby tried to change his travel plans to no avail. That's what happens when you give someone else control of your plans.
Of course, being the dutiful and supportive wife that I can be, I told him time and time again that I would be fine.
That time would pass.
That he would have fun.
That I would get ready for school while he was away and work a bit on things that needed to get done, and he would connect with his family.
Things would work out like they normally do.
But as the day approached we both got a bit stressed and the reality of the event hit us: This would be the first time, in the almost five years we've been together, that one of us would be traveling without the other for purely social reasons.
This was not work. This was not a conference. This was not a new business trip.
This was social; and it was hard. Unbearable almost.
As much as people like to say that spending time apart is good, even healthy, for a relationship, I am here to tell you that what works for others doesn't always works for you.
A dinner, or even afternoon away? Sure, why not. It can be fun. But traveling and spending days without your hubby? I am not a fan.
This? It will not happen again.