The Art of Overthinking
Yes yes.. You have read the photo very well. I’ve been suffering from “overthinking syndrome” lately. It comes and it goes but only to hibernate. Pffffftt! As much as I hate feeling it, there’s not much I could do. Personal issues, doubts, fear, and all else in between made me ambivalent that I am now. Again, I hate it. I don’t even know why I’m feeling this or if I have the reasons to feel such awkward strange emotion. Oh well! 
According to Urban Dictionary, overthinking means something is on your mind and you continuously think about it, the thought gets deeper and you start thinking about circumstances, events and possibilities that could be… in the end you have too many far out thoughts racing through your head. Hmmm.. Interesting!
I’ve been doing everything in my will to keep myself balance and sane. You can even add “holistic” to the list! Lol! Truth is, the brain can be analogous to a traitor. It’s your friend and your enemy. Frienemy?! It feeds your thoughts constantly with bits and pieces to stitch one scene to another. I could write a book once I start the whole caboodle! What causes this? Imbalanced neurotransmitters? Dysfunctional synapses? Gaaah! I’m overthinking again! But seriously, am I this ruined as said in the photo above? If overthinking ruins me, the situation, and people around me then there must be solutions to somehow turn things around. What do you think? I can’t even pinpoint to where it all started. PMS? Insecurities? Quarter life crisis? Interpersonal relationships? No one can possibly tell, not even myself. I breathe pessimism dearies. Maybe I was influenced by the books I read in my early years. It was always about betrayal, facade, mistrust, being blindsided, hidden agenda, etc. (But I admit legal thriller as well as sci-fi really caught my interest.)
One stuff that I enjoy doing would have to be talking. Just talk; never had much chance to do that before. However, I couldn’t talk to anybody. Uh huh, introvert stuff. Boooo! I can easily blame my low self-esteem for these uncertainties. I’m prolly the most insecure (and unhappy?) person you could ever meet; my closest friends can attest to that. I grew up alone, being picked upon, had nasty relationships, and the like! Soooo, trust issues galore! Uhmm, have you ever felt undeserving of someone’s attention and affection? That sort of feeling in me is too strong I’m paranoid that I’ll lose someone significant. I’ve been dealing with that my entire life that I resort to expecting it in the worst way possible. 
Did I freak you out? Hope not! Sorry I had to share unhealthy thoughts swimming in my head. It has always been there. I felt that if I let it out, it will eventually go away which I sure wish as hell would! Lastly, forgive my unpleasant post. I should’ve spared you from the drama but I feel like writing tonight. My blog has been a medium wherein I could freely express my thoughts that are as random as the universe. I’m supposed to upload an LOTD today but I was fast asleep. Too late! Bear with me on this post, might have to delete this one once I’m on the optimistic side of things.. Thanks! I’m currently reading 6 Steps to Stop Overthinking Your Life. A good link for someone who isn’t a fan of anything self-help!
Stay wicked!
