It's been a while since I've written a post solely on how the boys are getting on. I hadn't realised that the last post I wrote like this was back in February!
Ethan is five now and Logan is three and though the two year and two month age gap never changes it almost seems like the gap between them is closing, especially so since Logan turned three.
Logan's shot up and the height gap between him and his brother is getting smaller and as Logan changes so quickly from being a toddler to a now being a little boy, it has suddenly hit me that I have two little boys now, rather than a toddler and a baby or a little boy and a toddler.
I feel like they're quite similar in looks too, sometimes I see double with them and there have been times where I've called them the wrong names because I've thought that they were the other.
The two year age gap felt like a struggle at the start, having a two year old and a baby wasn't the easiest and I remember feeling quite overwhelmed (and often lonely when my Husband was at work) at times. But now I look back I think I did my absolute best and I have such fond memories of both the times we stayed at home because it was just easier and the times I braved taking them both out alone and felt like super-mum. I was sometimes hard on myself but now I see it was so unnecessary. But that's Mum-guilt for you isn't it?! And I'm not sure Mum-guilt ever really leaves. It still comes back and bites me on the bum unexpectedly nowadays too!
I look at the boys now and I feel as I've always felt - utterly content with such a full heart. They drive me bonkers with their squabbling - absolutely bonkers! And I wish so much that they'd squabble a little (or a lot) less. But I'm so glad that they have each other and though two little boys at the ages they are, are a handful I'm really glad that we chose to have just two years apart between them.
Logan starts school in September, well it's nursery rather than actual school, but the nursery is in the school and like Ethan did too when he started in the nursery, Logan will be wearing uniform. I can't quite believe it to be honest - it was so strange filling out the paperwork applying for his place. I'm so used to putting Ethan's name on any school paperwork, that it felt so odd to be putting down 'Logan'. I'm also still in complete denial and continue see Logan as a baby, but then maybe as he's probably our last child, I may always do?!
I think once Logan starts his days at nursery and walks off to school in the mornings with his big brother, both in school uniform, things are going to feel so different. I'm so used to having a 'baby' at home. I wonder if it will feel almost like a new chapter for me? Or perhaps as it's been so gradual it'll just feel natural and we'll adapt to working a bit more during the day and having family time after 3pm.
Initially Logan will only be going for three full days, but still it's a big change for us and for him. I remember being hit with mixed emotions when Ethan started nursery and then the next year too when he moved up to reception and I know it's going to happen again with Logan.
Ethan was supposed to be moving up the next building (the proper school building) in September, but the school is very small and so they've had to join years up. This year reception and year one are together, which means that Ethan and his friends will stay where they are and Logan starting nursery will be in the room just next door. I think it will help Logan transition into the world of nursery and being away from us at home and it'll bring me comfort too especially if there are a few tears at drop off.
My plan is to enjoy the summer holidays as much as possible with the boys before we think about school though. The boys typically get on better with each other when Ethan's not at school - I guess because they stay on the same wave-length and have to become each others friend and entertainment. I think it also helps that Ethan doesn't have to battle tiredness from long school days too, which means during the holidays he's far less grumpy!
I think I could write about these two all day. I can hear them squabbling downstairs now and their Daddy telling them off asking Ethan to stop calling Logan a 'baby', but they honestly do bring me so much happiness. They're such characters and I honestly do feel like the luckiest Mummy alive to get to be their Mummy. <3
Thank you for reading. Alex xo
