Self-insecurities.
One day I'm up, the next I'm down.
Happy. Sad. Happy. Angry. Happy. Sad. Happy. Mad.
I've asked myself many times.. 'Who am I? and 'Why do I seem to possess two different personalities?'
Just a girl with issues with myself. Surrounded by people who appear to have been born with solid personalities. They don't wake up some days and tear themselves apart for really no reason at all and then wake up the very next day and go back to 'normal'.
They're not like me.
They're happy, fine, confident, secure in themselves. They rarely get it wrong. Good at whatever they do.
How do I know this?
Because I see it.. I see it everywhere. I walk down the street and I see it. I see it at work. I see it in family. I see it in friends. I see smiley faces everywhere I go. I hear people respond with,'Yes thank you', every time someone asks if their alright.
That's how I know that everyone around me is okay.
So why is just me? Why do I get it so right some days and so wrong others. Why am I alright Monday and not Tuesday? So to speak.
Just a girl with issues with myself I guess.
Or not.
Hubby and I sat chatting late last night about this. And I think that I may have just cracked it.
I don't own two different personalities. I'm not at war with myself on Tuesdays or Wednesdays or Thursdays or any other day of the week in fact.
It's just a climb.
It's a personal, mostly silent, climb. And we're all making it.
Sometimes we take one step up and two back down. And sometimes two up and one down. And on a very good day- two or more up and none down.
The climb can be steep and some are better at navigating past the falling rocks than others. But we're all doing it.
The climb represents our level of confidence and as we get higher over time we get older, naturally.
A bad day doesn't need over-analysing. (Something that as a Virgo, I'm all too good at).
A bad day is just a small theoretical stumble on my climb.
If I don't self-focus and I look to the left and to the right there are others who have fallen back just a little, I'm not on my own. If I look up, I see there are others further along and if I look down I see there are others just starting out on their climb. But no-one's just moving up, they all take down and they all take steps up. We all do the same thing. Some have just been making the climb for longer than others.
And so I think I may finally understand... Life is a climb.
And as with all climbs, this one has one hell of a view.
-source
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