This conversation is from Two and a Half men which I don’t exactly remember the episode. But yeah, it’s obviously before Charlie dies. I found it really hilarious and it never gets old.
Jake: Guess what happened at school today.
Charlie: You made the honor role.
Jake: What’s that?
Charlie: Forget it. What happened at school?
Jake: There is girl.
Charlie: Okay. Now I’m listening.
Jake: Her name is Robin Newberry.
Charlie: Name’s not important. Proceed.
Jake: She gave me a cupcake.
Charlie: Yeah so?
Jake: I think she likes me.
Charlie: So what’s the problem?
Jake: Now I think she thinks I like her back.
Charlie: Do you?
Jake: I didn’t think I did but it was a really good cupcake.
Charlie: Wow! talk about your perfect metaphor.
Jake: Nooo It was a cupcake.
Charlie: Ok blind slat, listen up. I’m gonna tell you something that will serve you well for your entire life.
Jake: Like when you pee outside always face down wind?
Charlie: Better. By the way, what the hell were you thinking?
Jake: I was thinking “Boy, I hope that’s a really warm rain.”
Charlie: OK OK Let’s focus on today lesson. Never ever confuse cupcakes with love.
Jake: But I love cupcake.
Charlie: We all love cupcake. That doesn’t mean you have to love the baker.
Jake: Her mom baked it.
Charlie: You’re missing the point.
Jake: Robin just helped with the icing.
Charlie: Ok ok.
Jake: She made a smiley face with red hots.
Charlie: I get it! I’m just saying when someone freely gives you her cupcake your only obligation is to enjoy it. There’s no reason to get emotionally involved.
Jake: Why not?
Charlie: B’coz if you do the next you know, you’ll be stuck eating the same damn cupcake for the rest of your life.
Jake: But it was a really good cupcake! I can’t stop thinking about it.
Charlie: Yeah… I’ve had cupcakes like that. But the thing you gotta remember is there’ll always be other cupcakes. And if the day should come when you find yourself in a cupcake drought. And those days come don’t kid yourself. Well then you should just shelf out a nice couple of boxes for nice hoho.
Jake: *looking totally blanked*
Charlie: Understand?
Jake: I think so. Thanks uncle Charlie.
Charlie: No problem.
Allen: Hey what are you guys talking about?
Jake: Sex.
