the death days are upon us
the time of mourning is at hand
some pour out words of celebration
for those who go ahead
others, like me, cannot
i’ve always been selfish that way
mentally robbing you of your crown, your throne
your eternal salvation
for my grief
and my ever shifting uncertainty
but grief does not care for limitations.
of all who shaped my present from the past
you were the one i never imagined
you were omnipresent
always were always am always will be
even when absent
you weren’t far.
fifteen years
nearly half my lifetime
how do you say everything that needs to be said
yet needs to be silenced?
aquarius to capricorn
they say there are lessons to learn
well i can now say yes, there are
yes, there are
too many to count, to name
but the main
always return to friendship
again, though different.
always return.
life is a series of cycles
but ours will stop spinning soon.
you have taught me that grief is untamable
your last lesson
or is it?
i expect you’ll resurface in my heart
just as you’ve always done
just as you always are
just as you always will be.
just one question:
how do you live with all the things you cannot say?
