Today I am so happy to have my friend, Sarah, come on over and share on a topic that I think is rarely talked about. I think it is very real though, and needs to be shared. I love her viewpoint on it and I am so happy to have her!--------------------------------------------------------------
I am the mom to an almost two-year-old boy and a newborn baby girl. My heart has been absolutely and irrevocably stolen by my two children; motherhood is one of the best things that has ever happened to me!
It is not, however, the easiest thing that has happened to me. I suspect I’m not the only mother who has experienced anger—afterall, a 24/7 job like ours is no easy task. However, I don’t hear much about this particular struggle from other women, and I have a feeling it’s because so many are trapped by it or feel ashamed by it. If that’s where you are—or if there’s something else that’s trapped you or made you ashamed—I hope my struggle with anger helps you to find encouragement, grace, and the tools to began to prepare yourself when your own struggles arise!After my son was born, I experienced what most new moms do—hormonal swings and a crushing inability to plan, fix, or solve so many things for my son. Infants can’t be questioned or reasoned with or sometimes even soothed, and with increasing frequency, I began to find myself in the grip of deep feelings of anger and frustration towards my own infant son. Don't get me wrong; I never harmed him nor was he ever in danger, but the intensity of my emotions terrified me. My first instinct was to just try harder. “I will stop being so angry,” I told myself. “Sarah, this is so ridiculous.” But I couldn’t get rid of the feelings. That current of emotion flipped on like a light switch, and I couldn’t find a way to switch it off. Ultimately, I began to realize this was not just an average sin problem—for me, this was a stronghold.There are sins I can fix in my life if I really put my mind to it. For example, I can clean up my language 
or I can be more gracious to my husband without too much effort. A stronghold, however, is a binding sin in a Christian’s life that only Christ can remove. It is a chain that we can’t break in our own strength—we have to come to a place of complete dependence on Jesus to see it broken.
Once I identified my struggle with anger as a stronghold, I turned to two resources I’ve used before: the Bondage Breaker and Praying God's Word are excellent. Both teach the importance, above all, of knowing and immersing yourself in the Word. Ultimately, what we believe has a dramatic affect on how we act. If, at a heart level, I don’t believe what Christ says about me—that I am a child of God, enslaved only to righteousness, and chosen and dearly loved by God—then I become incapable of acting godly. One of the first things I did then was to get on knees. I repented, and then asked God to reveal the heart of my struggle, and give me scripture that I could begin to memorize and meditate on.Bondage Breaker and Praying God's Word both have great lists of “I am” scriptures—verses that describe our amazing and life-giving relationship with Christ, and that describe our true identity as his children. I went over and over those verses, speaking them out loud to myself and asking the Lord to help me truly believe them in every part of my being. There was a particular verse that I specifically memorized, and when my son began to cry and I could feel anger rising, I would recite it. I would say it over and over and over again. Little by little, through praying daily, through repenting when I gave in to that anger again, through asking the Lord to work, I began to find healing and freedom. Little by little, he brought memories to mind that helped explain why I turned to anger, and when I asked him for healing from those hurts, he healed them and brought me comfort. Gradually, I found myself slower to anger, and with more strength to be patient and gentle with my son.Some strongholds disappear quickly, and others take time. Some the Lord heals instantly, and you will never struggle again in your life. Some you will struggle with daily. Both are testimonies of His grace—whether grace through miraculous power, or grace through new mercies and our daily dependence on him. Praise be to God, I no longer struggle with anger the way I used to! I will still feel it flare up, and if I don’t check it, I can find myself speaking angrily to my son or being impatient and not gentle with him (it breaks my heart to think of these times). But it does not have the same control over me that it used to. Thanks to the work Christ has done in me, I’m able to calm down, take a deep breath, and adjust my words and my tone.I am no pastor, theologian, or particular learned person, but if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I’d also encourage you to share your struggle—95% of the battle is won when we began to share our struggles with others and allow them to pray and encourage us. Finally, you should know that I am praying for you, whoever you are and whatever situation you find yourself in, even as I type these words on my computer weeks before they are posted. I am living proof of Christ’s redemptive power—I cannot wait to hear your own stories of his power in your own lives!
"I've left the sunshine, sand, and small town, in exchange for rainy days, royalty, and romance."
Check out more from Tara:
