You may have noticed that there has been a distinct lack of blogging taking place on my blog lately....I thought I should probably try to explain why I am struggling so much to sit at the computer for long enough to write anything at the moment.
The reason is that I am currently experiencing all the delights of the first trimester of pregnancy.
I am not one of those women who sail gracefully through pregnancy, all glowing skin and luscious locks.
Oh no.
I am the one you'll find smelling of vomit and looking like death, curled up in a ball on the sofa crying.
Actually that's a lie....I can't cry because crying makes me gag, and gagging makes me sick.
Instead I have developed this bizzare little choked whining sound that I make whenever I fancy a cry, it's rather pathetic but it does the trick.
So far, there are three main issues that I'm struggling with in this pregnancy....
Sickness, Smell and Taste.
I suppose the three are all linked, but OH MY GOD are they making me miserable.
Let's start with the sickness....
At the moment, my day begins by opening my eyes and wondering how long I'll make it without throwing up.
Some morning I manage to make it past breakfast....those are the good days.
Yesterday morning was my worst so far, I didn't actually manage to even open my eyes before I started vomiting. How lovely an image is that?! (I do hope you're not reading this over breakfast....if so, please feel free to come back later!)
I now have a bucket permanently outside my bedroom door, because that is the general distance I can make it these days....Our bathroom is DOWNSTAIRS....that is a challenge too far for me right now.
I am currently on an anti-nausea medication which is proving to be about as effective in calming my nausea as smarties are for helping my weight loss (on the plus side, I have lost 6 lbs so far! *sarcasm*)
I realize that sickness is something a lot of mums-to-be experience, I've had it all before when I was having Tyne and it lasted for 30 painful weeks then...
Then there's the smell....
Recently, all of a sudden, I developed the nose of a bloodhound.
I can smell the most obscure of things from miles away....today it was pasties.....god knows where they were, possibly somebody 3 streets away had visited Greggs for lunch but the smell was strong enough to convince me that somebody had snuck a cornish pasty in and hidden it under my sofa.
In a restaurant recently, we made the mistake of sitting near the kitchen and I was suddenly overwhelmed with the stench of parmesan cheese.
Nobody else at my table could smell it, but sure enough I soon saw plates of spaghetti bolognese with grated parmesan coming out of the kithcen....
These things alone I can deal with....but unfortunately for me I have become convinced that there is a constant, disgusting smell lingering both in my living room and on every item of clothing I own.
The clothes, to everybody else, apparently smell fine....infact they are probably the cleanest clothes in England because they have been washed several times over....but to me, they reek.
The smell isn't one I can even describe....I just know that it is disgusting and it makes my sickness worse.
I spend my evenings now sitting with my dressing gown over my nose because breathing in any other smell makes me physically sick.
And finally, the taste....
After everything I drink (not so much with food), I get the most disgusting aftertaste in my mouth.
Again, like with the phantom smell, I can't describe it....it's not metallic as some pregnant women experience....it's sort of a mix of a chemical taste and extreme morning breath.
Mints make it worse, no amount of tooth and tongue brushing or mouth wash help....it is simply always there when I swallow a mouthful of drink.
It is VILE and, again, it makes me physically sick.
So....not only am I feeling sick all day, every day and physically being sick for a lot of it....but every sip of drink I have and every breath I take also leaves me battling against throwing up.
Fun.
And yes I realize this will all pass, and yes I realize it will be worth it once the baby is here, and yes I do know that I'm lucky to be able to have children.....but right now I am absolutely miserable with all of these things and so none of these things make it better....So just allow me to wallow in self pity a bit, ok?
Of course I know that people are just trying to be positive when they insist on telling me "You'll feel better soon" or "Try to get out and take your mind off it" etc....but it is seriously bloody irritating! I don't just feel a little bit sick, or have a smell slightly irritating me.....this is constant, stomach churning nausea and vomiting ALL DAY, EVERY day....from the minute I wake up, to the minute I go to sleep.
Did you experience any of these things in pregnancy? If you have any miracle cures, please do let me know!
(But please refrain from mentioning any of the numerous things that I have already tried or I might scream in frustration....these being: every type of ginger, peppermint, herbal tea, ice lolly, preggie pops, lillipops, sea bands and dry crackers!)
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