I don’t consider myself to be much of a writer, since I barely have time to scratch out even a lousy blog post once in a while. But that doesn’t stop me from daydreaming about it during my commute home from work, when I imagine myself as a celebrated author and much sought-after thought-leader. I picture the many calls and emails I would get from agents and publishers, all clawing to get a piece of me because my work is in such great demand.
“These people are so annoying!” I would complain to my wife. “Why can’t they just leave me alone to work on my craft in peace?”
My brash agent, Marty, would try to manage it all, calling me frequently with updates. “Screw Thomas Nelson!” he would bark over the cell phone, dismissing their offer for a six-figure advance. “We’ve got Crown salivating for a 3-book deal and Hyperion is chasing us like a stray dog in heat!” I attempt to calm Marty down, admonishing him for his colorful use of foul language. But I’ll admit, he sure knows how to get it done!
Then I would run through a roster of friends and acquaintances, as well as people who I don’t even know, imagining their reactions upon hearing about my runaway publishing success. “I knew Brad was multi-talented, ”they would say in utter amazement, “but, golly – now you’re telling me he’s on top of the New York Times bestseller list?”
Although I am not very experienced, there are a few things I have pick up on. One observation is that writers go through four distinct phases. These are then repeated in a never-ending cycle. Surely, the harmony of this spirit-filled journey must represent the beautiful integration in the soul of a writer’s life.
Phase 1: Self-Aggrandizement.
In this high-flying phase, the writer brims with confidence, thanks to an inflated sense of talent and perceived importance to the literary world. However insane it might be, this madly unrealistic self-perception keeps the creative juices flowing. One can often detect hints of a writer in this phase while listening in on his private conversations: “Honey, I honestly believe that what I’ve written here will change the world.” Or, “I can’t possibly take a blog sabbatical. My readers are counting on me!”
Phase 2: Bitter envy.
Here is when the writer comes across news of his friend’s success, which spirals into an emotional frenzy as he immediately draws comparisons to his own less-successful situation. Perhaps a friend sends an innocent Tweet sharing some good news: “Thank the Lord, my draft manuscript was picked up at the writer’s conference last week. I am so amazed that this international publisher has put so much faith in a first-time author such as me!” Or he sees yet another story in the New York Times about some blogger he has never heard of with some lame idea who is now discussing licensing deals, movie and television production rights. The writer is now fuming with jealousy and envy regarding the obvious injustice. “Why is everyone else getting a shot but me? I am far more talented than that idiot! When will these fools start to take notice of my work?”
Phase 3: Utter dejection.
The writer then goes through a very dark stage marked by feelings of worthlessness and despondency upon the realization that his talent is mediocre at best, and that the public really doesn’t care all that much about his work. You may not hear from the writer during this phase, as he prefers to stay quietly sequestered at home with the curtains drawn, watching reruns or slipping back into former addictions.
Phase 4: Resignation and Acceptance.
“Oh, I just surrendered it all to the Lord,” you will hear the writer say with a sigh as he takes a sip of herbal tea. Here you will notice a spiritual resurgence as the writer finally lets go of those far-fetched fantasies and detaches his personal sense of self-worth from the amount of public attention he receives.
It’s all in God’s hands now, so why not go back and write some more? You do love the writing so much, after all.
Upon reviewing a couple of drafts the writer begins to say, “Hey, you know what? This material is not really all that bad!” Surely there must be someone out there who will agree. And come to think of it, a little acknowledgement of the work would be nice once in a while.
And the cycle continues…
Thanks to Nance for the cool picture!
