{via}
Things have been so busy for us. Between managing contractors working on the house, trying to hunt down our household belongings and organizing the items we do have, these past two weeks have been overwhelming. Thankfully, almost all of our stuff FINALLY showed up this week. There were a few things that they still have not found in storage, but 99% of our things are here. We are so grateful to have our belongings back, however a ton of stuff was damaged in storage and the movers who showed up treated our brand new house like junk! (rubbing dirt all over walls and banging into them, making dents and chips).We are planning to work on repairing everything (Army contracted movers aren't the greatest) and are just looking forward to finally getting settled!
With all of the craziness, a ton of different emotions have surfaced between Ryan and I. Most of theses emotions come out of frustration, but I know that some of them are also very real and legitimate.
I never wanted to move back to Florida. This is something I was very positive about when we first moved here because I was so grateful that Ryan had a job. It IS so nice being close to family, but recently I've been sad about being back. Ryan and I knew that the right decision for our family was to get out of the military - but there are definitely things we miss. The biggest thing is probably the sense of adventure. We moved three times in under two years. While Ryan didn't like the actual moving process, I know we both LOVED exploring new places and living in new states. Facing the fact that we may be in Florida for awhile (my fear is until we are 50!) has been really hard. I also miss the other Army wives I was friends with and also the ease of meeting new people when you moved with the military. There is an instant feeling of connectedness when you join a new unit. You meet other families at Hail & Farewells and you already have so much in common because you are all going through the same things. The same training drills, the same deployments, the same day to day issues. The wives bond over coffee (even if it's us complaining about our husband's terrible work schedules) or we go to different on base events - you find and make friends very quickly if you put yourself out there.
Moving to a place where you don't really know many people anymore is a lot harder when it comes to friends! We are currently searching for a church, which I hope will help us in this area, but in the meantime, where do you really meet new people? We have been blessed to move into a neighborhood that has a ton of community events, so we are excited about going to the next few of those. I am sure things will get a lot better when we aren't focusing 100% of our free time on "house duties", but for the past few weeks, this has been something that has bothered me.
When things go wrong with the house or when we couldn't locate our household goods for four weeks or when I'm lonely and worried about making new friends - that's when I start up the whole "I wish we never moved here! I miss the Army! I want to go back to Colorado or Arizona or Nashville or Atlanta!" And while some of those feelings may be legitimate, I know the majority of them are just fueled by the fear and frustration I am experiencing in the moment. The funny thing is that the grass always seems to be greener on the other side. With the exception of Nashville (that is the BEST place we ever lived and I will always miss it and hope to go back), we would always have a reason we didn't like where we were living...until after we left. We didn't like Arizona because we were in the middle of nowhere and had nothing to do. We didn't like Colorado at times because we were so far away from family. New Jersey was difficult because Ryan was unemployed and it was a terrible winter. And then every time we leave a place we look back on it and miss so many things about our time there. Ryan and I have talked about getting better at cherishing our time in a place - regardless of where we are - because we know that in a few years we will look back and miss those times too. We can't always be focused on what exciting thing we are looking forward to, we need to be excited and happy with the here and now.
My goal is to really accept and believe that "the grass is greener where you water it". Although there are things I miss about parts of the past, I want to completely invest myself into our present. I know this is the best way to find happiness and contentment in the life we are living now and will also help us create beautiful memories during the time we live in Florida (whether that be 5 years or the rest of our lives).
