These ridiculous events occurred an hour ago when I returned from picking up milk at the corner store:
***WARNING this will make absolutely no sense if you don’t live in Canada where milk comes in bags***
Me: Why is there only 3 bags of milk in this bag?! Stupid corner store! They’re just trying to rip people off! This shit-hole city is full of thieving degenerates!!! RAAAAWR!!!!!
Fiancé (who was painting the bedroom): What?
Me: … there’s supposed to be 4 bags of milk in a 4 litre bag right? Each bag is a litre…. RIGHT!?!?
*silence*
Fiancé: um… I think so…?
Me: So should I take this back and make a big deal about it RIGHT?
Fiancé: maybe Google it first…
*5 minutes later*
Me: I can’t find anything! Stupid Canadian bagged milk! Why is there no information on the interwebs!? RAAAAWR!!!!
*I stomp back to corner store like a rabid T-rex*
15-Year-Old Cashier Dude (who’s probably never bought milk in his life): Hey
Me: So… I just bought this *holds up bag of milk* and there’s only THREE bags in it!
Him: Um… that’s weird… is there supposed to be 4 bags?
Me: YES!!!!
Him: It looks like the rest of these bags all have 3 bags of milk in them.
Me: Ya, but did they come that way or is YOUR BOSS just taking a bag out and SELLING them like that?!?!?!?!?!
Him: I think they just come that way….
*silence*
Me: I might just be crazy….
Him: Ya….
Me: K. Thanks. Bye.
*I stomp back home like a slightly less rabid T-rex*
Me (on the phone with my step-dad): So there’s supposed to be 4 bags of milk in a 4 litre bag RIGHT?!?!?
My Step-Dad: What are you talking about? There’s usually 3 bags isn’t there?
*he calls my mom over*
My Mom: There’s 3 bags in a 4 litre bag.
*silence*
Me: Oh….
My Mom: Why? Are you trying to settle a bet?
Me: No… I just got milk from the corner store and there was only 3 bags in it…
My Mom: Well, it’s a good thing you called before you went back and complained.
Me: I already went back….
My Mom: *laughs* You probably should have Googled it first.
Me: I DID!!! I couldn’t find anything because stupid Canada is the only stupid country where milk comes in stupid bags!!!
My Mom: You should have searched for “Neilson milk”
Me: I DID!!!!!!!!
My Mom: So you yelled at the cashier for no reason…
Me: I’m dumb.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is my life.
