The one thing people think they are sure about is regarding what makes them happy. Philosophers, though, seem to be of the opinion that they are wrong about that. I mean, there is even that proverb saying something on the lines of 'When the gods are angry with you, they grant you whatever you desire' or some such. Which goes to show that those gods certainly think that the easiest way to heap misery on you is to give you everything you ask for. Apparently, humanity cannot be trusted even to know what will make them happy.
So, yeah, take recourse to someone like Tiru who tells you what will delight you the most. Even though you did not know that it would. Even though you thought that the exact opposite was what the doctor ordered to make you happy.
Inbatthul inbam payakkum igal ennum thunbatthul thunbam kedin - Tirukkural
When the worst misery - hatred - is vanquished, one gains the best of joys - Loose Translation
Yeah, when everyone knows for sure that to hug hatred to your heart and achieving vengeance is the only way to lasting happiness. I mean, come on, does anyone really think that you can be happy by forgiving and forgetting?
And, yet, think! I mean you developed a hatred because of what? Because someone said or did something that made you happy? No, right? Hatred comes out of something said or done by someone that made you angry. And anger is generally an outcome of hurt.
Then, to hug that hatred to your heart is to constantly remember that moment of hurt. It is akin to clawing a wound continuously and keeping it raw and bleeding. Well, misery of miseries IS right then, isn't it? AND vengeance...when hurt has been kept alive for so long, does ANY retribution seem sufficient? AND will not the perceived insufficiency of the vengeance, keep the hurt alive even after the vengeance is achieved? (Not to mention the fact that the guilt about the acts YOU perpetrated, in the process of achieving that vengeance, kicks in AFTER the dust is settled.)
Not that it is easy to do that. To not seek vengeance does not mean that you can be at peace with the decision. You see, the hatred IS alive, you have only decided to forego the option of acting on the dictates of hatred. So where then is this 'greatest joy'?
THERE, like all philosophers, Tiru expects too much of you. OR, to be more honest, he sets up the ideal for you to aspire to. You see, 'Igal' is not like 'political correctness' as in, being determined by how you behave externally. 'Igal' IS the burning hate you carry in your heart. AND Tiru says you need to vanquish THAT. In other words, you must learn to rid yourself of that hate in your mind.
Now, is it not how we stay unhappy? By storing up all our moments of hurt, periodically taking one or the other off the shelf, dusting it and looking on it in all its pristine glory so that you can relive the hurt? If you could only wipe out those hurtful memories, eliminate all that hate...
A man who can truly cleanse his heart of all hate...THAT is the man capable of the greatest joy. Us mango people, we have to make do with the small pleasures of life.