There’s a constant bug inside me that keeps going, “prring prring prring” every time I type WinWord in “run”, an omnipresent guilt that indicates something is missing.
I know I need to write to
throw this weight off of me. It’s been too long now that I have been ditching
my blog. For that matter, it’s been too long that I have been ditching any type
of writing. As a result of this long deprivation, it’s got really badly wired inside
my brain. I need to write, rubbish it might be, I need to write nevertheless.
My mind wonders right in the middle of an important meeting, everything goes hazy and it starts typing inside my head furiously. “Rajrupa, what are your thoughts on this?”, someone asks and I snap back, blinking, “Sorry. You were saying?”, red eared and shame faced.
It’s annoying. Every time I try to make it go away, it comes back more powerful. Now, right now my life is spanned out in such a way that I really should concentrate on those other things, but this bug inside me is like those itchy coarse blankets in a cold night. You can’t keep it on your body; you can’t let it go either.
Now I realize that I have already filled half a page and not said a single word that makes sense. Seriously! What is wrong with me? So I do a little Googling and discover this horrific truth – there’s actually a formal term assigned to my condition – Hypergraphia.
Ok maybe I am exaggerating a little about my condition, but still it’s a condition nevertheless. Why else, would I look dazedly at anything that comes in the path of my sight and wonder what I should be writing about it? For example right now I see a withered Christmas tree sans all the decorations being dragged out from the floor and I feel, Oh the Christmas tree must be feeling very bad, maybe I should write about it – The Fallen Mighty. I hope you get it. Do you feel the same sometimes?
And now I realize, a colleague has been sneaking behind me all this time I was writing this nonsense. “You are a nut case!” She chokes now, “You seriously plan to put this up on your blog?”
“What’s your problem? My blog, my writing, I don’t have a quality check there.” I fume. Now my case rests upon your hands. If I can get at least one of you who feels the same way, I can be either saved from being a nut case or can at least have another sharing the same sorrow.
Love,
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Riot of Random
