As in a man icing a birthday cake.
Yes, the old Laur will have traipsed Ms. Buck’s ‘Good Earth’ for 57 years. Hard to believe. It’s been an interesting 57 jam packed years filled with amazing life experiences so incredibly groovy and so horrible, they could reanimate Buddy Ebsen.
And some years could’ve inspired Dante.
Good and bad were and are always present, just at different times for different purple,
I keep gettingb asked what I want this year. My answer is nothing. Im reminded that everyday I spend above ground is a treat,,and I am grateful. And I want other things like global love, world peace , equality, no more profiteering from war and all the other typical Miss America Q&A response shit. But my passion for al these things are waning. Im hardly as passionate about any of it as I used to be. I mean, I’m not willing to burn the flag, my haggard bra or my AARP card in protest. I protest with my wallet now.
And I used to think protestors who. burned the ROTC building or overtook then dean’s office were cool. Today , I think they’re criminals. To have youthful iidealism is womderful, but keep it within a reality based perspectives., Everything must change. Like elongated boobs that were oncc taught and perky and can now gold a tray of canapes. They’ve changed. Everything changes. Life is about change and how we changed with them is what living is all about.
My whole family consists of pre-Clinton Democrats. They aren’t now. I used to be a blond. The every increasing streaks of gray amid the dark roots prove I’m not that not that much of a liar.. My tolerance has changed. And I’m now confrontational. If I see an ininjustice, I’ll say something. If one is perpetuated against me, God help the perpetrator. If warranted, I’ll use what few good bones I have left left in my leg aim directly at the crotch. Any Crotch. A grocery cart rolled into my car recently. The plastic sign in the cart insisting that all children be” carefully srtspped” in truer sears.
The cart now has a huge ding between the reo ‘Ps’.
As for turning 57, my brain is now taking orders from my body more than my brain, I had a nasty car accident 27 years ago and broke 11 bones, so my brain gets overridden quite a bit. Moving really isn’t all that easy and accompanying pain, but if strong enough,,you learn to live with your disabilities. .
So….I guess what I’ll on my BD do is wake up on the morning of my birthday, take a post wake up nap, scratch whatever itches—-bathing will be based on a coin flip., check FOX News to see who blew what up, then go my almost 86 year old mother’s house and stare at her third and final caesarean section scar for 57 seconds as she reminds me how painful my birth was. She seems to recall the spinal block injection that numbed everything below her waist was just a mosquito bite.
I’ll just sit there and agree with her, then make an apology that’ll fall on deaf ears. As in literal deaf ears,
Then I hope I go back to my very empty house sans people behind furniture , then I’ll light a votive candle and make the same 51 year old birthday wish I always make. It won’t come true, but after 57 years it’s become a habit. I can always hope.
Look, I know this makes me out you be a cynic, pessimistic and jaded. .,Don’t get me wrong. Life is okay. I go out early on clear Central Texas morning and see stars that I just know are looking back at me and only me. I’l be thankful that while by boobs a do look WWII issue German hand grenades, they’re both healthy. Ill smile because I’m NOT a mother of five in Mexico who struggles to feed her children. Then I’ll smile even bigger becsuse I can write a check to a charity that can help make a difference.
So yrah, I’ll 57 in a less than week. Sure I’ve hardened,,got tin older, colder,, happier to be bored, perfectly ok with being alone, even brings more intolerant of certain things.. But you know what? I do want something, but good damn luck trying to wrap me in a box, becsuse thatscresllynslminesnt:—time, I want the time;. Enough…just enough time to express my gratitude for all the things and people in my lifr
And for all the things and people I’ll soon be losing.
e
is,
grateful
