There comes a time in life when you realize that things will never be as easy they used to be. You grow up to realize that living a responsible life is the only way to reach the success that have always lurked in your restless mind. After graduation and the completion of a number of years in which you were solely responsible for studying, you realize that things will differ once and for all. You are entitled to live a life marked by your personal decisions—your own intellect and way of seeing things. Deciding upon your career, life partner, passion and faith is yours to make. You are held accountable. There is no longer a cake without calories or instant pleasure without the pain. There are no longer decisions spared from consequences. Life dictates the rules of the game and your mind is left with the challenge to either accept and peacefully live or suffer in the agony of wishful thinking.
We are given choices. Yet, sometimes we would rather believe that life is out of our control; it makes the most hideous of decisions seem plausible. When life transports us from comfort and the indulgent care of our loving parents to a set of raw challenges we might either sob like the weakest of kids or understand that within challenges do men find strength and stamina. We are hardwired to believe that idleness and unstoppable comfort are in our best interest. Motivated by a fierce pursuit of short-term rewards, we sometimes forego the sweetness of withstanding bitterness. We escape the hardships that are designed to turn us into men and women of leadership and vision. Innately, we just want to sprawl our spoiled bodies on soft bed sheets while jauntily scoffing massive amounts of brain-stimulating foods. Surprisingly, however, we desire comfort free of any of the negative that surface as a result.
In a life marked by increasing stress and chaos, we grew fond of addictive behaviors that unplug us from the noise around us; the pursuit of momentary ecstasies and orgasms that brush off the exact kind of hardships that are meant to serve our best interest. Each one of us fits with a specific kind of addictive behavior, be it drugs, sex, alcohol, reading, shopping, junk food, attention and the frantic pursuit of acceptance, etc. At the end of the day, it does not boil down to whether you are into drugs or shopping, junk food or porn—simply because the motive remains constant: a desire to escape the bitterness of life by a momentary disconnection as we transport ourselves to a realm of fantasy and deceiving pleasure. As the gap beneath our skins widens, we grow desperate to experimenting with different behaviors to fulfill our main purpose, that of finding happiness.
Allah blissed me with numerous individuals sending me about their most personal problems. I have learnt a lot while colliding with the deepest concerns of humans. I have seen sides that people carefully veil beneath a coherent sheet of synthesized confidence. The most valuable lessons that I have learnt is that the greatest harm is thinking that change happens outside of ourselves; that we need '' that book '' or this '' video '' to learn how to change. Mentors can only guide you to what you and only you will do. This attitude leaves you a victim, awaiting the siren of rescue that shall never come. I have seen the psychological effect of believing that you are accountable for your behavior and believing the exact opposite. I have seen men and women sternly challenging their current situations and vowing to meet with their dreams on the jagged moon surface one night. I have seen boys and girls reporting their utter helplessness in the face of a conspiring life, aimed at their fretfulness. And as Henry Ford said, '' whether you think you can or think you cannot, you are right. ''
We have a choice, a choice to either reflect on blessings or misfortunes. We have a choice, a choice to realize that our present does not have to be dictated by the agony of the past; that we can make things better, that we can take better decisions to mold a desired future. We are definitely not in full control of what happens to us. We are in full control of how we deal with what happens to us, nonetheless. Attitudes are more important than facts, because they are the force that colorize the neutral painting of reality. A hundred men see life in a hundred different way. Nothing in constant as our attitudes are the inferring force of reality.
I have not always believed that I am accountable for my behaviors. There was a time when I wallowed in the drama of a self-victimizing needy boy. I did not understand life nor Allah's wisdom. I felt anger simmering softly beneath my skin. I did not move forward as I did not have the requisite attitude and willingness to do that. Yet, thanks to Allah, I tasted the change. I still fall and sometimes blunder with imprudence. But I now have the courage to get back up. I appreciate my humanity and my imperfect nature. I try diligently and I know that relapses and shortcoming are inevitable. I live in peace with who I am. I do not try to conform to mainstream behaviors. I feel comfortable in my own skin. I feel comfortable with trying to be the man that Islam and my parents taught me about. The kind of man who finds honor in the respect of women, the constant pursuit of the better, and the continuous humbleness regardless of how high I get.
The life of men is a remarkable one. Those who believe that they can change the world—that life is in their control. The life of men is an honorable one as civilizations perch upon the work of visionaries and dreamers. I aspire to never pursue an ill inference of manhood dictated by a pathological society. I aspire to never pursue physical strength for the sole purpose of proving to an insecure soul of mine that I am worth something. I might have made a bad decision yesterday, but it's alright because today is an opportunity for redemption and correction. I might have fallen a million times but it's alright because I have learnt a million lesson. I urge myself and the sensitive spirits of everybody to live the lives that we desire. Take the risk and follow your pure understanding of how you should be. Taste the life of men for it is the most needed one of all. Inspired by: Numerous recent experiences that changed me.
