The Modest Proposal of a Stalker

I wanna hold youWanna please youWanna wrap you up and keep youI’ll stay right here from dusk till dawnSat upon your nice front lawnI’ll scare away those men you dateBecause I am your true soul mateForget the dark, I need no torchHiding under your front porchI’ve t-shirts emblazoned with your faceWhen you jog I’ll keep your paceWith each writ and restraining orderI’ll stay just within the legal borderEnjoying the burn like jealous HadesAs flames consume that guy’s MercedesHe’ll keep his hands to himself next timeOr wake engulfed in fresh quick limeOh why oh why do you call the copsWhen I bring you lollipopsMade from my own special recipeSugar, water, and the special ingredient.... meI cry each time you turn away my lovingBut there is nothing that will stop my midnight rovingFrom leading me down your road and right to your front doorYour love for me is worth the pain of that I’m sureBecause your tease is just part of the gameEspecially that taser that sent me lameOr the kick to the shins that left me limpI know you want me for your gimpBecause I’ll do anything, just anything for youJust tell me quick that you love me too,Otherwise I can initiate the suicide pactSee I signed your name too, I’m not whackedThe blue sirens blaring screaming all around usRuining my plans I see you crying in the fussThey may drag me to prison but babe you will wait

I know this because you’re my one true soul mate