[The Ordinary Moments] Having Grandparents..

My Mum's Mum left her when she was younger and her Dad passed away whilst I was a baby. My own 'father' left when I was just three months old.. supposedly he didn't like children very much! So I didn't get a chance to get to know his parents. I met his Mum a few times and she seemed like a lovely lady but that's pretty much as far as it went before she passed away. My Husband Adam on the other hand, grew up with his grandparents regularly in his life and our little Ethan and soon-to-be second child will to much absolute delight grow up the same way, as him.
I can't really explain in words how it feels to watch even just Adam and Ethan together - to see Ethan playing with his Daddy and learning how to do new things with him brings me emotions that are sort of indescribable. I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to have a Dad myself when I was younger. I have a Step-Dad, who has been in my life since I was nine years old and who has been there for me ever since then, but natural curiosity sometimes makes me wonder what life would have been like if I was that child who's parents did stay together. To be totally honest, as soon as I start to think about it, I stop myself and shake it off. In all honesty I wouldn't want to change the past. I'm happy with the person I am and where I am am in my life. I'm a believer of things happening for a reason. But even still.. watching my Son with his Dad often makes me well up. Adam's an amazing Dad and Ethan's more lucky than he'll ever know.
I feel the same way about seeing Ethan with his Grandparents, he spends so much time particularly with Adams parents - Ethan's Grandma and Grandpop. He's formed a bond with them and their home has become his second home - somewhere other than our own home where he feels safe and happy. He spends Thursday evenings there and stays over night at their house every week. He knows that there's a slightly different routine there and he embraces it. He goes to the local park, on lunch dates and on days out with his Grandma on a Friday during the day whilst Adam and I work. Sometimes they stay home together, they'll sit and watch cartoons, eat lunch and Ethan will play with his Aunties old pink toy camper van. He has a special time there no matter what he does, he gets to be in a different environment, learning from different people - all whilst strengthening his bond with his family.
A couple of weeks ago, on a Thursday, after what was an amazing week and half together as a family for Ethans birthday, I packed Ethans bag up with all of the things he'd need for the two nights (instead of the usual one) that he was staying away. I put far too many clothes in the bag as the weather's been so unpredictable lately. I made sure it was all folded. I checked that his favorite teddy 'doggy' was in there and then I checked again. I added two bananas, one for each night to be blended in with his milk, just like he likes it. I made sure he had a dummy and that his new slippers were inside the bag too. I gave him a hundred cuddles and then a hundred more and more kisses than he's had in his entire two years of life in less than one minute. I waved him off goodbye, blowing yet more kisses as his Daddy reversed the car down the driveway - and I watched as Ethan put his hand to his mouth as if to blow me some kisses back. I watched them get to the end of the street and turn the corner.. and then I cried.. And I thought about how for me, it doesn't get any easier to let him go each week. To watch him need me less and less. I thought about just how much I want to cling on to him and be with him all of the time and then I cried a bit more. But then after a few minutes.. it suddenly occurred to me that what I was feeling, as natural as it is to feel as a Mum, was just a feeling smothered in my own emotion and my own personal desires.
It occurred to me that by letting him go, he gets to build up that special and precious bond he has with his grandparents. He gets to have that second home where he feels comfortable. He gets to learn new ways of doing things from new and different people. He even gets to go and see his Great-Grandad and do things differently then how we do things at home. He learns how to be confident without his Mum and Dad there. He learns who his family are and gets to feel how loved he is. He learns that, in life you can't always be with one person doing the same thing every single day, no matter how much you think that's all you want.. (which is something that I'm still learning myself). I know that if something ever happened to Adam and I - as much as it would never be okay, he'd have his grandparents and his second home. He'd be looked after and guided in the right direction.
I know deep down, once the emotion and the initial shock of letting my baby go for the night or few nights passes, just how good it is for Ethan to go and spend time with his Grandparents. I know how lucky he is. I know how happy they make him and he makes them. I now how nice it makes me feel when I watch them together, it's that same feeling that I get when I watch my little boy with his Daddy. I'm so thankful that Ethan has both sets of Grandparents in his life - I'm thankful that they go out of their way to see him and to be there for him. My little boy gets to have grandparents and as emotional as it may sound.. I'm eternally grateful to them for being in his life. He's such a lucky little boy.
[The Ordinary Moments] Having Grandparents..