The Reality Of Where We Are Right Now

I'm sitting here with a blasting headache and a few quiet moments to myself. I think it is very easy for blogging and social media to allow people the ability to share certain parts of their life - and a lot of times, people choose to share the positive. It makes sense...who wants to look at an instagram feed full of depressing or "uncomfortable" moments from a person's life?
Over the past two months Ryan and I have made the best of the situation we are in. We know we are truly blessed and things could be much worse than they are. We are so grateful to be staying with Ryan's mom. Right before we came out here, Ryan's mom was re-diagnosed with cancer. She lives by herself, so we were happy that we would get to be with her and help her out or spend time with her. On top of that, it has been very special for Rilynn to be able to see her grandma every day and make some memories. I grew up away from extended family, so I always hoped that when I had children they would get the chance to spend time with their grandparents. Has it been a huge adjustment, always having another person around and not really getting much "privacy"? Of course, but she has graciously welcomed us into her home and we will be forever grateful for that.
We have done our best to find creative, fun (and free) things to do when get extra time. I spend a lot of time with Rilynn, playing with her and trying to teach her new things. Ryan is busy job hunting or heading out of town for interviews. Over the past two months those are a lot of the things I have shared. The happy moments, the creative date nights in, the fun outfits Rilynn wears around the house since we are snowed in and stir crazy 80% of the time. But things have been hard - they have been very stressful. Looking back we never thought we would still be in this place at this point. I didn't prepare for this when we sent things into storage. I have had terrible anxiety because we had clothes and baby items from our baby shower - things for Rilynn as she grew. Some of them won't be able to be used by the time we get them out of storage now. It feels wasteful, but I know there isn't anything we can do about it now.
Most of all, Ryan's job hunt has been frustrating. A company will say, "We will call you by Tuesday..." and then Tuesday comes and goes and we hear nothing. He continues to interview and put his full effort into every opportunity, but this process definitely takes an insane amount of time. He has to randomly go out of town for interviews and then wait two weeks to hear if he made it to the next step. It's a lot of back and forth and A LOT of waiting.
Our life isn't all smiles and joy right now - and that's ok. We know this is just a season and eventually it will pass. Ryan knew that he couldn't stand to be in the military lifestyle anymore and we made the decision to get out. Has that created some difficulties for us? Yes. But we prayed about it and it was what was right for our family. So I just wanted to be very real and honest for a few minutes. I haven't felt there was a ton to update anyone on because honestly, my hope was to have a positive update or some great news. But here we are, 2 months and still no job or change. We are very happy to have two strong job leads and we are appreciative for all of the blessings that have been given to us by our family and friends. We choose to highlight the happy moments and keep our focus on the wonderful memories we have the chance to make. I love that I get to spend so much time with Ryan and that he has had the chance to experience some of Rilynn's milestones. But we are human. We are stressed out and we have bad days. Some nights we lay in bed and worry or have anxiety. We have these low points.
And even though I don't usually post photos or posts of these parts of our life, they exist - we just do our best to be happy and find joy in the place and circumstances we are in at this point.