The Beginning | Facts About Myself | Don't Mess With An English Major | The Bake SaleThe Favor | The Rescue | The Brothel | The Number | The Wrist, Part One | The Wrist, Part TwoThe Sighting | The Question | The Concern | The Explanation | The Star Wars Debate The Phone Call | The Holiday Thursday | The Rain Check | The First Freak Out | The TwistThe Second Freak Out | The Clarification | The Confusion | The Awkward ConversationThe Accident | The Show, Part One | The Show, Part Two | The Birthday Dinner | The MoveThe Other Guy | The Final Freak Out | The Reflections | The Friday Night Date The Monthaversary | The Beginning (as explained by Office Boy)
The Twist (as explained by Office Boy) | The Second Freak Out (as explained by Office Boy)
The Clarification (as explained by Office Boy) | The Second Freak Out (from the outside)
Friday morning I dragged myself out of bed rather begrudgingly. (No one ever uses the word "begrudgingly" in real life. That's only something you write so you get a higher grade in English. True story, for all of 10th grade English, my writing made no sense because of the use of "synonym finger" in Word. My 11th grade English teacher was kind of enough to tell me this. He was actually so concerned about it that he went to my 10th grade teacher, who then explained that my writing was wonderful. He apologized and then taught me actual English. I've gotten this far. But I digress...) My eyes were puffy from crying the night before. Even if I wasn't sure how I felt about Office Boy yet, it was still an emotional night. (You liked me — you tell me this constantly. <editor's note>Yes. I tell you this now, but at the time I still didn't know for sure.</editor's note> P.S. I like you, too.)
Shortly after I arrived at work, Office Boy stopped by. He didn't say anything. He just walked in with puppy dog eyes and a sad face. (I use this face constantly.)
"It's fine," I said. I didn't want to deal with this right now. I get it. You feel bad. But this is not the place to deal with your feelings. (This was selfish of me, but I didn't want her to feel bad. I didn't care about being in an office. I just cared about how I could make things right. FUDGE THE CONSEQUENCES.)
I did my best to avoid him for the rest of the day and headed home. On the way back, my phone rang. Office Boy was calling. (This should be no surprise.)
What does he want? I thought I made it clear yesterday that this kind of behavior makes me think he wants to date me. (And my phone call made it quite clear that I wanted to talk.)
I answered it and we had our usual commute home conversation. I spent the evening with my second family from CNU and he had plans to go out with friends so texting ceased around 7:30pm. (After an earthquake, people say the most comforting thing is being able to do what they did before all the chaos and destruction. I figured that if we could go back to something familiar and safe, it would help us move along to a resolution. Obviously, I didn't think this at the time, because it sounds too smart, but it worked.)
Saturday was a long and crazy day. A friend's father had unexpectedly passed away earlier that week which brought my sister into town, so after a whirlwind morning of trying on bridesmaid dresses, an emotionally draining afternoon at the funeral, and a brief respite at a White Sulphur Springs open house reunion, I headed over to Office Boy's for a movie night—plans made prior to the conversation two days before. (This was a really sad situation. From what I understand, he wasn't very old when he passed.)
It was a nice opportunity to get away from things and clear my head. All I had been able to think about for the large majority of the day was how Mr. Davenport was just a few months older than my dad and it could've easily been my own father. I could've easily come home from work one day only to discover that I would never see my father again. (I guess this is where I "understood" that he wasn't very old.)
In order to accommodate more comfort, Office Boy flattened out his futon so it resembled the size of a full size bed. This allowed us to both lay down without having to squashed up next to each other and consistently touching. We turned on a movie and conversation ceased. And then weird things began to happen. ("Weird" makes it sound like I began to pull out a large bunny costume in hopes we could explore "furries" roleplaying...) <editor's note>I literally laughed out loud when I read this.</editor's note>
He would reach over and scratch my back. Or touch my hair and rub my head. (Her hair is quite soft. Not my fault.) Or scoot closer and put his arm around me, pulling me into the spooning position. I left his apartment after the movie was done and nearly burst into tears.
I can't do this. I thought maybe I could just be friends with him and snuggle occasionally and it would be no big deal. But that's not me. I realized that no matter how much I wished I could, I couldn't separate the physical from the emotional. And I couldn't handle it. I nearly cried myself to sleep that night because I was so conflicted. (I don't think I'll ever not feel like trash after reading this. I can understand what she was feeling. The only thing I wish I could say was give it a few months — all will be much better. [I think so at least]) <editor's note>Yes. After a few months, it got much better. :)</editor's note>
The next morning I got up and showered for church. I walked back into the room where my older sister and her friend Lindsey were.
"You got a text message or someone called," Lindsey said.
I looked at my phone. I had a missed call from Office Boy.
Why is he calling me at 10am on a Sunday?
Hey, I'm getting ready for church. Did you need something right now or can it wait until later? I texted.I don't need anything. I'm just driving to the office and wanted to chat.Oh, sorry.Don't worry about it. (I, not knowing how I affected sweet Sarah, continued to try to normalize our activities to what they used to be.)
Though the early morning call confused me even further, I put it out of my mind. I went off to church and had a wonderful morning followed by a bit of free time after which I headed back to the church for Easter pageant auditions. While I was there, Office Boy texted me. And continued to text me for the rest of the evening.
What the heck is going on? (I like you, get the net.)
He called and texted on Friday. He was touchy-feely and snuggling on Saturday. He called on Sunday morning and texted all afternoon/evening. (I know what you're thinking: absolutely nothing happened between Sunday and Friday. We skipped Monday-Thursday in some kind of weird worm hole and got straight to Friday.) <editor's note>Not true. The Twist, The Second Freak Out, and The Clarification all happened on Thursday. The Confusion details the events of the subsequent Friday through Sunday. No worm holes or skipping of days.</editor's note>
Was he just trying to avoid complications? (I always try to avoid complications. That's why I order online.) I thought. Maybe he does still like me. But he said he hadn't thought about dating me, so he must not like me. But why else would he keep calling and texting and wanting to snuggle? What the heck is going on? (I have nothing snarky to say. I feel bad that it was so tumultuous for her—again, one of those words.)
----------
Check back Tuesday for the next installment in The Saga of Office Boy!
Enjoy what you're reading? Like me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter!
