The Beginning | Facts About Myself | Don't Mess With An English Major | The Bake SaleThe Favor | The Rescue | The Brothel | The Number | The Wrist, Part One | The Wrist, Part TwoThe Sighting | The Question | The Concern | The Explanation | The Star Wars Debate The Phone Call | The Holiday Thursday | The Rain Check | The First Freak Out | The TwistThe Second Freak Out | The Clarification | The Confusion | The Awkward ConversationThe Accident | The Show, Part One | The Show, Part Two | The Birthday Dinner | The MoveThe Other Guy | The Final Freak Out | The Reflections | The Friday Night Date The Monthaversary | The Beginning (as explained by Office Boy)
The Twist (as explained by Office Boy)
I stared at my phone in disbelief. This is a joke. It has to be a joke. (Sadly, this was not a joke. If you're just tuning in, trust me, this made sense at the time.)
Umm...possibly. Who? I texted back.It's my best friend.Ahh. Well, I mean. Maybe.Can you send me a picture?Of me?Duh.I don't have any on my phone.Oh. :(I do have some on my computer though.Could you email it to me?Sure.(Sweet story: I look at that picture she sent me all the time. Well, now I have a few new ones of her with her new hair, which I also look at constantly. For the longest time, that picture was my picture for her when she called.)
My head was reeling. What the heck was going on? Clearly this has to be a legitimate friend and not some clever ploy by Office Boy because why else would he need a picture? He sees me every day at work. He knows what I look like. (As explained earlier, this was my thought process: if I set her up with someone else, I wouldn't be forced to not have to think about her. Now, don't get me wrong, as I said before, I was setting her up with my best friend — so I know he's not a jerk.) I pulled up my photos and began to sift through them all, looking for a semi-recent picture where I wasn't making a completely ridiculous face and was not with lots of other people. This proved a bit harder than I expected. (Side note — she rarely ever takes a picture without a ridiculous face. Apparently some headshots are around, though. Also, fun fact — she can't widen her eyes. She tries, but nothing happens. This sad realization was proven when she tried in a mirror.) <editor's note> True statement. For years, I've been thinking I was showing shock and awe at things by widening my eyes when, in reality, all I was doing was raising my eyebrows. *sigh*</editor's note>
I finally found a picture that fit the bill, sent it to him and returned to the conversation.
So, umm...do I get to know anything else about this guy? Maybe get a picture myself?He doesn't have pictures on his phone. (One thing about my friend: he just doesn't go online and have pictures of himself. Not sure why. There are plenty of him in his house.)Oh. Well, what's his name?Alfred*. (I like that, of all the fake names in the world, she chose Alfred. I hope when she re-writes about me with a new moniker other than "Office Boy," she chooses something a little more sexy...like Danger Studlington.) <editor's note>Really? Danger Studlington? *shakes head*</editor's note>Anything else?He was a theater major.Ok.
My brain was going into overdrive. I couldn't figure out what the heck was going on. (Catch up on my last post. While she doesn't know my intention, I explain my thought process.) Had I been reading the signals wrong this entire time? Was I really that off when it came to interpreting the actions of the male gender? Because if that's the case...I may as well just give up right now. (Yes, you are, and will always be, off in interpreting the male gender, which makes sense. All women everywhere will never be able to do this. If you're wondering why, it's simple really: men, speaking from experience, rarely ever know what they're thinking. Don't get me wrong, we're not like dogs (even though it would be AWESOME), when it comes to intentions and actions, unless it's some type of scenario which doesn't involve us directly (e.g. taxes, playing video games, driving). We just tend not to be super introspective to understand our "true" intentions.)My friend Matt, who had been giving me advice often regarding Office Boy, was on Facebook. I sent him a Facebook message with a lot of words that basically boiled down to "WTF?"
He did his best to calm me down, to offer some logical explanation, but all three explanations he gave were completely viable and I had no idea how to tell which one was actually true. (You, the classy reader, should ask what those explanations were...)
I called my best friend, trying to calm myself down. I was reacting to this far more emotionally than I should be. After all...I wasn't even sure if I wanted him to ask me out. (I like how she did all these different things and her thoughts were moving this fast. From my perspective, our conversation was pretty instantaneous — no pauses. I honestly had no idea that all this hullabaloo was taking place.) Sure, it was fun to flirt a little at work, but was I really interested? (Yes.) Did I really want this to progress any further than harmless flirtation in the office? I honestly wasn't sure. She suggested that the two of us meet Office Boy and Best Friend for dinner, that way it wouldn't be so high pressure. (She would suggest that...)
Hey, so, I'm gonna be honest. The thought of a blind date kind of weirds me out a little bit and so I was wondering if maybe the two of you wouldn't mind going together with me and my best friend so we could meet in a less high pressure environment.He's actually being shy about it now. (He failed me, but this is a pivotal moment. Had he said yes, who knows what would have happened? Maybe you'd be reading the Saga of Boy I Met from Some Guy at Work?)Oh, ok.But I can still have dinner with you and your best friend.But the point of having dinner was for me to meet Alfred in a less high stress environment. If he's not gonna be there, it kind of defeats the purpose.But I like dinner. I had it today. And yesterday. And the day before... (Trying to be funny, so she isn't too mad at me.)Yes, I know, but still, it defeats the original purpose of the dinner if Alfred isn't there.Ok.So does he just not want to go out anymore?He got all shy and stuff when I asked him. (He's going through a lot of life issues. Going back for a second masters and trying to find a decent job to cover expenses. It wasn't anything personal. I honestly should have asked someone else, but I don't know if I would have trusted anyone else.)Wait...were you texting both of us at the same time to see if we wanted to go on a date with each other?Yea. But I asked you first, just to check.Ahh.I'm sorry. I really wanted it to work out.It's fine. Not a big deal.Are you mad?No, I'm not mad. Confused, yes. Mad, no.Well, what can I do to unconfuse you?
Oy vey, I thought. I do not want to have this conversation tonight. Or any time soon, for that matter.
It's not really a conversation to have over text message. (I would have preferred to text this conversation. Sarah crying is one of my least favorite things. :( )
I returned my attention to Matt, with whom I was video chatting. He continued to offer advice and all possible and plausible explanations, each with the caveat that, seeing as he had never actually met Office Boy, this was all just conjecture and theory. (Again, I had no idea this was happening. She's like a little spider monkey with forms of communication.)
Because that helps so much.
A moment later, my phone buzzed. And kept buzzing. I looked down at it. Office Boy was calling. (Of course I was calling. I wanted to explain. I may not be super smart, but I have a decent sized heart.)
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