The Sevens of Marriage

Hindu marriage vows are taken in the saat phere - the seven circum-ambulations of the Holy fire. They are more prayers than vows. The first phera is with a prayer is for availability of nourishing food through their lives, the second is for health, the third is for Wealth, the fourth is for mutual love and respect, the fifth is for good progeny, the sixth is for a long life of peace and the seventh is for togetherness, companionship, loyalty and mutual understanding.
I searched and searched and could not find this '... and obey' being required from the wife in this process. Alas! That put me off marriage - lacking nimbleness of brains, that 'obey' was about the only way I could come anywhere close to holding my own in a marital relationship - not that it has been any help to any of the others who had tacitly assumed that it was a part of the marriage vows.
There is, however, a different seven that comes into operation these days in love marriages. I make no claim that this is universal but it certainly seems wide-spread.
1. At First Sight - "Ek ladki ko dekha tho aisa lagaa" 2. At first meeting - "Tum aa gaye ho, noor aa gaya hai" 3. After being accepted - "Hum donon do premi duniya chod chale" 4. After a period of love - "Shayad meri shaadi ka kayal" 5. Post wedding - "Suhaag raat hai, Ghunghat uta raha hoon main" 6. Five years after marriage - "Kya apna tamanna thi, Kya saamne aaya hai" 7. Ten years after - "Kasme vaade pyaar wafa sab baaton hai baaton ka kya"
I plead indulgence from the ladies. Hindi cinema has been male-centric and I am unable to find good equivalents for the women. (And my apologies too to those of you who do not know these Hindi songs)
Marriage is also supposed to be a saat-janam ka rishta (A relationship lasting seven births). The above love story starts with being indignant about having only seven births with the loved one, goes through to feeling that the relationship is just about good enough for seven births and ends with hoping that the current one IS the seventh birth for which the marriage was supposed to last.
I am sure that YOUR marriage is not like this one and you want life with the same partner to last till you get off the wheel of existence totally. But I cannot keep worrying about you. I need to figure out whether this seven births business applies for bachelors as well and, if it does, do I want this to be the first of seven or the last.
I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words 1st - 7th September 2013