Rants n' Raves Magazine

The Stupidest Questions I’ve Been Asked

Posted on the 26 February 2011 by Blairbarnes

Okay, I’ve posted once before, but once again, I’m going to say I live
in Scotland, so if I use British spelling, I apologise! Also, we use
pounds here, instead of dollars, so I will type pounds instead of
dollars.

Picture of an authentic Neapolitan Pizza Margh...

Image via Wikipedia

Anyway, I work in my dad’s pizza restaurant, and these are the
silliest questions I’ve been asked:

“Do you serve pizza here?” Note: He was holding the menu in front of
him, which had several pictures of the pizzas we sell.

“Can you make sure there’s no chocolate on my pizza? I’m allergic to
chocolate.” Chocolate on a pizza? Wow…. I don’t know whether I
should be revolted or not….

“Can you make my pizza with no dough?” …. Huh?

“Is this real ham? You know, the stuff you get from a cow?” Er….
That was a hard one to reply to. It was hard to keep a strait face.

“Is this cheese fake or as real as those lovely boobs you have look?”
Uh…. Thanks?

“Can you keep the ice cream out my dessert? I’m lactose intolerant.”
Note: She’d drank about three glasses of milk during her meal.

“If I stalked you, would you give me a discount?” Um… No…?

And possibly the weirdest question I’ve been asked:

“Can I buy your eyes? They’re so pretty.” Um….

And that’s all I should put, before I end up going on forever.

- Lizzie

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