I have tried.
I want to say I get it, that I am part of the tweeting trend or whatever you to call it…but I don’t and I am not.
I totally get Facebook. I totally get blogging. I even get Instagram, but I cannot for the life of me figure the Twitter thing out.
The gist of it I understand. Mostly. But throw in hash tags and all the other crap, and you will loose me as soon as you add tag to hash. I was born in the 60′s there is no tag after hash. Trust me.
It is a great tool to use to send my blog forward, as you will notice if you actually go to my Twitter feed…because that is basically all there is.
I have a hard enough time making a Facebook status up every three weeks, never mind trying to come up with a fucking Twitter funny every twenty minutes, because you would have to be on there all. the. time.
Pinterest takes up too much of my time to play along with Twitter.
And there are not enough pictures.
I am visual, and you have to do more that just spout off every twenty seven seconds to keep my interest.
It’s not your fault Twitter, it’s totally me.
There are too many things to focus on, and you have no control over the speed. It’s too much. It’s too fast. It’s too complicated.
And the more people you follow, the more screwed up you are gonna get.
I have also blown a good crush Blake Shelton following a celebrity that really tweeted his own tweets. Some people should not take care of their own media…just saying.
Another thing that is bad, is tweeting while consuming alcohol…while you are a celebrity… Charlie Sheen it just never ends well, and you won’t really end up winning. Or will you?
I guess that one kind of could have gone or still could go either way.
And the other thing is, my profile LOOKS good, like it really looks like I get it, that I know what I am doing, because I am a geek that way, I can figure it out and make the layout look awesome, the content is where I lack.
My funny just isn’t turned on that much, and no one wants to hear the whining. Really. Stop it. If you tweet and complain. No one cares and you will get deleted.
You have to be funny. Like really funny. Like way funnier than I can possibly be. Ever.
And a lot of the time some of your funniest stuff will get missed, because you tweet it at three in the morning, or when I am eating dinner. I can’t possibly keep up.
So I just have to let Twitter go on without me…I will still stay connected, but I am just going to own that I don’t get it, and probably never will, I have no filter and it is just too easy for me to make a mistake. One that will cause me to have to retract my statement, admit I was drunk while tweeting, and close my account.
It happens, right?
I just don’t want it to happen to me.
So carry on Twitter, carry on…
Just don’t wait up for me to catch on, it’s totally not going to happen.
