Did you notice? No? I wasn't here for a week - not here, not on Facebook, not on Twitter, not even really on email or text.
We were in Wales on our hols and the sun shined. So while we enjoyed some bucket and spade, I also learned a thing or two about being un-connected.
You don't get more done - not really, you simply find other things to do instead. You browse brochures, leaf through magazines, watch kids' telly and paint your toenails.
Middle child loves playing cards - if he's winning. Monopoly cards or Scrabble dash if we must. If he's not winning, it's an entirely different story.
Essential planning requires a trip to the pub. Honestly. Or for the downloading of the essential game of the week - Clumsy Ninja.
What the next environmental menace will be. Loombands will threaten our very existence, if we're not careful. They are elastic bands you loop together to make bracelets, anklets, glasses chains and, crucially, weapons. Only the thing is they have an almost magical way of removing themselves from the wearer's limb and becoming scattered over the countryside.
A loomband ping is very loud indeed, if it was well aimed. At a brother.
746 emails is about what you get in a week, give or take. Suggestions for managing junk mail welcome. Please.
Worrying about what may or may not be happening while I'm not looking will not produce 3G connections. (Apols to Max Ehrmann)
Rocket science has had it's day. I've discovered something far trickier - the iTunes Store. I hadn't worked out how to make it give me the video I bought. That's because the iTunes Store is the most complex thing in the world. Only three people can work it and none of them is me.
Sometimes you just have to live with not knowing stuff. Dylan Thomas' life story; how to start a bee hive; when it's high tide; who sang that song; where to get a copy of Dumb and Dumber; whether Welsh people really eat rarebit and what's in a welsh cake. Without Google we'll never know.
