"Look at me, I'm queen of the road."
For the past couple of weeks I've been swanning around in a new, red and shiny set of wheels. It's the first time I've ever had a brand new - mileage not in double figures even - car.
Here's what I've learned from the experience:
There is a point to Bluetooth technology. I never quite got it before, but now, oh yes, it's fab. I just get into the car and the clever thing talks to my phone so all I have to do is say: "Call home." And there I am nagging children from the fast lane. (It does make me wonder if it's a function of age to be so thrilled by techy stuff that does what it says it on the tin.)
New car does, indeed, smell amazing. No moldy whiff from the back of the chairs and no nasty melty aroma on a hot day. Not yet anyway.
I'm not sure yet what 4x4 adds up to. My logic behind picking a 4X4 was motivated by pot holes. Year after year, I was becoming increasingly weary of having to fix broken tyres and wheels after a close encounter with a rubbish road surface. Not to mention hanging around in the rain trying to get going again. Now though, I start looking at rough paths and steep slopes and thinking, I wonder if the car would get up there....
Roof bars make excellent perches. Every single incontinent member of our local winged community has been round to try out the new hang-out place. Halford's don't do roof bird scarers, but they should.
Children's interest and enthusiasm for a new vehicle are shorter than you think. About half of the first journey and five minutes past the first squabble in my experience. Then they start saying: "The roof window in the other car was better, and there was a better place to put my cup."
No food in the car rules are a great idea. But we all know about great ideas... This one lasted until the first evening when there were three hungry boys, two warmed up frozen pizzas, one scout drop off in Inverkip, and one explorer drop off less than an hour later. It was nice while it lasted.
Maternal concern is relative. If you don't believe it put a four-year-old with a nose bleed in the back of a new car...
Only patient people should get personal number plates. The process of transferring a 'cherished' registration to a newly leased vehicle is tortuous. After a week or two, cherished doesn't enter the equation.
Best laid plans #2... A good problem looms. When the lease was negotiated with its associated mileage limit, my anticipated daily mileage was 15 - 20. Of course, about the same time the car was delivered a new work opportunity appeared needing something like 30 - 35 miles a day.
Yetis aren't abominable. The new car, on the off chance you care, is a Skoda Yeti.