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Worry is something I am terrible with. I am a worry wart. I definitely have tried to get better about this over the years, but it is still something I frequently struggle with. Last week I shared the details of our current life situation. And while there is a ton of uncertainty for us at this time, I know I should not worry and trust that everything will turn out fine.I have seen this time and time again over the past few years. I started thinking about it this weekend, and I realized that for the last three Novembers I was in a state of worry, and yet God provided.
Three Novembers ago I was working in Orlando. I was struggling with Lyme Disease at the time and had been incredibly sick that year. I was scheduled to go to a leadership conference, but honestly did not think I could make it with how ill I was. For some reason in my heart, I felt it was really important that I go, and so I packed up my IV meds, suitcase and headed to DC for a week. While there, I met a few friends who convinced me that I should look into taking an open position in Atlanta. Yes, it seemed crazy considering what my past year looked like, but I was tired of living in Florida and I wanted a change. When I returned to Orlando, I put in my resume for that opening and I got it. I was scared to death to move to a city I didn't know, I was worried about living with a random roommate, but in the situation, I trusted God.
Moving to Atlanta was the best decision I have ever made. It led me to another big life decision the following November...
Two Novembers ago I found out I had to transfer to Nashville in order to keep the job I had at the time. I loved my job, and rather than switch to another job function, I decided I would move to Nashville 11 months after I had moved to Atlanta. I was heartbroken and worried - I had just started feeling like Atlanta was home. I didn't know a single person in Nashville, and going through that process again seemed daunting. On top of all of that, I had gotten to a point where I really wanted to settle down. I was tired of dating and nothing ever working out. I finally told God that I didn't want Him to place anyone else in my life until it was "the one". Did I know if that would happen? No. But my heart had been broken so many times and I wanted to be spared that going forward.A month later I went to Nashville to find an apartment. The last night I was there I met Ryan. Had I not trusted God and made the steps to move to Nashville in blind faith, I would have never met my husband.
Last November I was extremely emotional. We lost our first pregnancy two months prior and I still had not gotten pregnant again. I was worried that even if I did get pregnant, maybe something was wrong with me and my body wouldn't carry a baby to term. I cried a lot of tears. I didn't understand why God had let me go through the loss and I wondered if I would ever get the chance to be a mom. The only thing I could do was trust God. I knew that He had a plan for me, and even though I didn't want His answer to be "no" in this situation, I was aware that the blessing of a baby was out of my control.Praise Jesus that His answer was not "no", but rather "not right now". He did allow me to finally get pregnant in January and now, this November, I have a sweet two month old girl in my arms.
So am I worried about Ryan's job situation? Of course. But I know that if I look at the past three years I can see how God has consistently blessed me beyond whatever I could have planned on my own. He led me to my husband and gave me the child I always wanted. In this new season of uncertainty, I can be confident that He will provide again.
Be encouraged any of you who find yourself in a state of worry. I worried about being lonely in a new city, single forever, not getting pregnant...I know that many of you may be in one of these phases of life and trust me, things WILL work out - usually in a way far better than you could have ever imagined (:
