Those Days of the Month

No matter how much I love them, I must confess, I have strange friends. Why? Various reasons of course, but one reason holds good for me to get blogging today. Every time I disagree with my friends, the smart pant will start whispering, "Oh! I guess the aunt is in town." And then he gives me a look that shows how scared he is to be by my side. What? You do not know what 'aunt in town' means? Google it.
50% of the times Mr. Smart pants is correct but 50% of the times it's just because he can not imagine me disagreeing with him on anything. Two days ago I disagreed to a point smart pants made and that initiated a whole new conversation on how devilish girls go when they are PMSing. Well what do I say. We sure aren't at our best but here's the thing...If you do not have the ability to ever get your periods you have no right to blame a persons behavior on their periods. Just because a girl is angry with your silliness, do not assume she is on PMS. For there will come a period when you are asleep and she will simply assume you are dead and bury you. PMS is not an easy thing. For it is painful, tearful, horny(ful), chocolate hunting, grumpy-ful and especially for me, the world is a funny place to be in. No no. I am serious. I simply get happy when I am PMSing. Of course, my back hurts and my stomach feels weird, my toes tingle, I gain a KG or two, my husband wonders where did the women he marry go but then, I am an extremely happy person during those times. Ten days before cousin red plans to visit, I begin bursting into trolls of laughter and the song bleeding love, gets a whole new meaning. I also imagine if using a band aid made for Godzilla instead of using a pad would be the same like using zip lock for condoms.
That's about PMS and then those actual days in the month have a different story. It's that agonizing time of the month when the soul and femininity is pouring out from in between a woman's legs into Mr. Pad-- And her soul is a bloody ocean. Period nights are long game nights where you need to figure the right sleeping position, waking every now and then to check if you have an all new design on what you were wearing to bed and/or the bed sheet. And then the mornings where you sit up on bed waiting for that trickle of warmth and wetness in between your legs to subside so you can get on with your business.
Some people have it real bad during their periods. A friend of mine bunked work today because she got her periods and feels so tired that she can't even get out of her bed. Luckily, unlike her and many others, I have been blessed during those days the month. Periods do not restrict my day to day activity in any way. I still gym, go for my run and thank you tampons, I still swim on those days but, there are just two things I do not do and never shall do. One. Wear tight white pants and two, shove my bum into other peoples face. Have you seen any sanitary pad advertisements or, do you belong to the category who changes the channel when such a thing is shown? Notice how the girl always chooses to wear white pants on those day and there will always be a man in the ad who is used only so that a pair of bum, stuffed in to a super tight white pants can be shoved in his face! And oh! not to forget how it is almost essentials to climb walls too.
From silly TV commercials to the so-not-cool jokes about chums; of comparing periods to being kicked in the nuts and for calendars that always have only 28 days...women really have a lot of reason to disagree with whom ever they choose to.
PS: Mr. Smart Pants...You are the sweetest pants I have known. Don't come questioning or, concluding stuffs based on this post. I shall continue being sweet to you at least 18-23 days of the month--plus or, minus.