Thursday 12.10.2011

Several days ago I had a dream in which Molly was giving me a perfume that belonged to her husband. This day we were checking the exercises from the workbook. I wanted to be asked about exercise that has more reading. Then I recalled that our primary English teacher on a lesson asked me like somebody who reads fast. This lesson Molly asked me to read an exercise about tense review. She said I to read louder. When I approached the half, she said “Nick you read very quietly” and “Did you, from the back understand him?” No voice. “You are rushing too”, she smiled, “You are not understandable”. Her next words were: “Come on Sarah go on”, because she raised her hand.

________________________________________________________________

I filled my diary book, but obviously writing about my life and sharing emotions were interesting enough to me, so I will continue here.

Today is Wednesday, 19.10.2011 and I’m writing right now because M. is here. Last time I stopped at Thursday.

________________________________________________________________

…Thursday

I felt hurt, but I looked at her and I smiled when she smiled me. Asking Sarah was the thing that harmed me. If she only was talking that it would have been OK, it’s liberal expressing opinions, but why she had to ask Sarah? It wasn’t my first reading this school year.

On the bright side it would have been different if, for e.g. Sarah was asked just before me. My point is she couldn’t have allowed to herself not to be asked at that time of the lesson. That’s why she raised her hand so persistently.

After school, while I was waiting, it flashed me that the whole thing could have happened because I looked at Molly’s legs. Earlier that day there were rumors in our class that she was dressed like slut because of her boots. I looked at her while she was checking the homework. When I looked again, she was turned on this side. After all I concluded that the whole event may have been just a slutty revenge.

Earlier that day Brenda asked me which series did I watch. She told S&M that I didn’t buy food because of the “movies” (as I call them). “I didn’t want to lose time”. Sarah said “ Isn’t watching series losing time?” I just kept looking her. I was speechless at the moment. But if I think better the answer is “I’m learning acting. Are you jealous because I can laugh any time I want?” Not only that but also crying, stressing, moving my head, moving my eyes, showing surprise, lots of things.

This day Mary found out the reason of my cut on the right arm.