Sheree Murphy in
Tiffany Rose
I know she is beautiful, has a devoted hero husband and pretty much anything she wants, but I feel a bit sorry for Kate Duchess of Cambridge.
First of all, she's barely allowed to puke in private. Hospitalised for extreme morning sickness, the poor woman is now scrutinised more than usual wherever she goes. Does she look barfy? Ooh, she's a bit peaky. I don't know about you, but if I need to make a call on the big white telephone, I want to be alone, at home in my own bathroom.
I was lucky not to get morning sickness too badly, but I did spend quite a lot of time feeling a bit bilious and that was bad enough. I wanted to burp and sigh and not have to go near food (or anything else with any kind of smell at all). Yet this woman's job is to smile politely in the face of all manner of odours and not look remotely queasy. Hats off to her, it's not easy.
Chaps - for the nearest similar thing, imagine having a vom-y hangover and pretending you don't but it goes on for days.
Then the world insists on calling you the wrong name. She's not been Kate Middleton for a while now yet more search engine traffic hunts for that than just about anything else apart from Justin Bieber and One Direction. Still, the same thing happened to her late mother in law. She was Lady Di or Diana Spencer for years.
Hopefully for Kate she'll start blooming soon - which is media speak for replacing eating with being sick as your preferred activity. But what'll happen then is the whole world will focus its gaze on the few inches around her navel watching for evidence of her growing uterus.
I imagine though that she'll manage to dress her burgeoning figure elegantly and show no evidence of some of the style trials other pregnant women suffer. Do you think we'll see her dunking her cankles in a basin of cold water? Will she wear her husband's Croc's because none of her shoes do up? Do you think she'll find a solution to the fact that pants and trousers inevitably fall down under the bump? No chance - she'll glide serenely through maternity without so much as a sweat rash or varicose vein. Ho hum.
Anyhow, to the point of this post. She could do worse than to select her maternity wear from Tiffany Rose.