Tired. So Tired.

It's kind of weird when you're at a happy celebration of some milestone, with friends and friends of friends who are doing well in life. And you're happy for these friends and their milestone and the happiness and success of those friends of friends.
But you just don't want to be there. You are not successful. You are not happy. You are tired of life and you don't have the energy to make conversation. You do make conversation, but its flat and not inventive and fun and it's not what people expect. It's not what you expect. You are better than this.
But not now. Not right now. All you've got right now is a weariness that others don't understand. You're just so tired of everything.