Take this preening thingy, for example. I was told, "Never boast about yourself or your achievements. What you do should speak for itself." I nodded solemnly and took it for gospel. And what happens? I enter the corporate world, do what I do and never talk highly of my own contributions. The word spread alright, among all those who had more than enough work to spare. "Psst! There is this idiot, who is quite competent at working but fool enough not to claim credit for what he does." AND I had people queuing up with work for me. Where the word did not spread was to those who had the goodies to distribute - salary increases, promotions, what have you. So much for religiously adhering to that advice.
The funny thing was that the dratted thing does not work even with those who GAVE me the damn advice. I mean, they ask me about what I do at work and I say, deprecatingly, "Nothing much. Just sort of push papers around, you know." And, far from thinking that I was actually pretty important at office and only adhering to the advice not to boast of what I was doing, they just took me at my word. And, thus..."I am sure you will have no problem picking me up at the Railway Station at 2 PM. You can push those papers later at office." Whereas a cousin who claimed that his office went into mourning whenever he took a couple of days off was treated with kid's gloves. "Would it be convenient for you if we landed up the next Sunday at 3 PM?" and things like that were de rigeur when it came to him. So much for looking down on people who boasted of their achievements or importance.
The problem was that deciding to preen was easy for me. The hassle was that I really had no training in how to do it. You do something difficult at office, it is no help galloping around the place, screaming "I done it! I done it!" THAT gets people to look at you askance and think that you were making tall claims. There is a certain ability to quietly claim credit, even for things that you just happened to witness when you were on the way to the water cooler, in a manner that makes people believe you. An ability that I have hunted for in my psyche in vain. Instead of telling me not to boast, they should have been training me in this. But, then, when is the last you ever heard anyone admitting that THEY made a mistake. (Of course, THAT is another thing they advice YOU to do while carefully avoiding it themselves!)
What I do not know to do, I advice YOU to do. Learn when to preen and when not to preen. AND, above all, HOW to preen. Or else...
