Top 10 Travel Tips That Won’t Make You Want to Punch People

Posted on the 12 August 2014 by Lynne @lynneknowlton

Why share these travel tips ‘n tricks?  I just love you like that. I don’t want to see you throat punching strangers when you catch the crazy train in your travels.

I know you want to travel, but you kinda sorta don’t want to hate human beings along the way, do ya?!!!  My friend, that sort of traveling requires coordination.

I sneeze three times in a row, right after I put my mascara on.  If I can coordinate my face travels, you can too {{ says the raccoon eyed gal.}}

Travel  Out  Loud

Do you feel the urge to put a wild stamp on everything you do?  Do you want to live with wild abandon?  Be adventurous?  Grow a wild hair?

Travel.  Travel.  Travel. 

Live life out loud.

Just Do it.  The end.

Blog post is over. Jokes.

Celebrate the beautiful moments

The travel tips in this bloggy post are sooooooo good, you are going to want to kiss me.

Pucker up, buttercup.  

This gal is about to drop some knowledge bombs in your lap.

Oh la la LUXURY …

Let’s dabble in luxury for a moment.  Typically, shopping in luxury stores makes my heart beat an out-of-control rhythm.  I have a naggy little jerk-face in my head saying ‘Erhhhmergerd, do I deserve this treat? ‘  Then the jerk-face turns into a cool dude and says ‘ Oh hells yeah!! ‘

TruthBomb : My pal Norma bought these little treasures for my 50th birthday.  I should have probably French kissed her.  I might have made a scene.

Expensive.  Duly Noted.  Me avoid.

I took this next picture in front of a bunch of fancy peeps.  It was a crowded sidewalk.  I didn’t feel stupid at all.  The things I do for you.

Yeah.  I took one for the team.

Travel is the real deal.  Do what you can afford and then splurge it out a little every now and again.  It’s all out there for you.

Grab it.  Love it.

It’s legit.

It’s dirty.

It’s fun.

It’s gritty.

It’s living on the edge.

It’s stepping outside your comfort zone.

It’s living large.

It’s where the rubber meets the road.

It’s something that you can sink your teeth into.

Hellloooooo.   Come to Momma.

You just may learn something new about yourself.  Like how not to be bored.

Travel is powerful.  It is a no bullshit, no holds barred way of living out loud.

Get out into the big world. It makes your big problems seem small.

Don’t let your dreams be dreams.

Embrace the moment<— Psssst, remember that embrace word.

We  Embraced  Le  Meurice  PARIS !

Top 10 travel tips that won’t make you want to punch people in the face…

 1.    Carry a night light :

We all need a good nights rest.  Hallelujah.  A good nights rest means you shouldn’t have to face plant a wall in the middle of the night.  Pop a night light in your bathroom!  You’ll be the Obi-Wan Kenobi of sleep mastery.

2.    Smarty pants Luggage labelling:  

Outsmart the duffasses that lose your luggage.  Put your name and address on a big sheet of paper on the inside of your luggage.  Make it blatantly obvious INSIDE.  If your outside tags are lost and your luggage ends up in Tokyo instead of Orlando, the airline will see a big ‘ol sheet of paper when they open your luggage.  Yes, they will open your luggage.  Bam.  Luggage mystery solved.  Be sure to hide your unmentionables *blush*

3.  Buy True Lemon  Packs <– Lemon for your water

Hydrate. Hydrate. Hydrate.  Yet, water is boring.  *Yawn*  For some reason, when someone tells me to drink more water, I want to throat punch them.  It’s kind of like when someone tells you to smile.  They are entering the kill zone with them there fighting words.

There is one exception to the water rule. Okay, maybe two.  This water cleanse and lemon.  Putting a real lemon in your purse will make you look like a dork.  These lemon packs are  a lemon explosion in your mouth.  You’ll want to lick the lid of your water bottle.  Just sayin’.

You may actually legit like your water.

I know.  I know.

Imagine that?

Wahhheird.

You’re a weird-o.  I think I like you.

Shop in the new bloggy store !

I’ve bought my lemon packs in the health food store over the last zillion years. Then I discovered that you can buy True Lemon on Amazon for less moola.  I’m smart (and a little slow) like that.

Gimme that water.  Right. Now.  It’s waterlicious.

Yeah  yeah  yeah,  there’s  water  in  there  somewhere  :)

4.  Use wifi :

Do not, I repeat (with passive aggressive screaming) do not for the love of all things Holy, do not do not do not turn on your data roaming.  Like ever.  In the history of ever.   If you are really stupid turn it on, be prepared to hand over your first-born child to pay for your phone bill.

Look out … I’ll be right behind you slapping your head. OMG.  Dumb Dumb.

WiFi is free in so very many places.  Free. Free. Free. Free. Fahhhhreeeee.  When connected to your free wi-fi, use WhatsApp%20Messenger%20-%20WhatsApp%20Inc.">WhatsApp%20Messenger%20-%20WhatsApp%20Inc." target="_blank">Whatsapp for free international texting, voice messaging, photo sharing … the whole shebang.  It does everything, except make dinner.  Drats.

You’ll save at least 75 cents per text.  You can save enough money to buy me a Mai Tai. Or ten.

5.  Your iPhone GPS is d’bomb dot com 

Did you know that you have a free GPS in your phone, even when you don’t have a data connection?

Here’s the trick: When you have a wi-fi connection, enter your destination address into your MAPS on your iPhone.

Plan the route.  Press Start.

Turn off your wi-fi.  {{ Turning off wi-fi will also help preserve your phone battery life }}

Your phone will guide you to your destination by the built-in GPS. This does not require any data usage! You can travel for hours and hours and did I mention hours (???) without any data usage.   It still doesn’t cook dinner though.  What the hell?!

Don’t  get  lost.  Kiss  a  horse.

 6.  Cell phone camera :

The best camera to have when traveling is the one that you have on you.  It will shock your pants off to know how great your phone can be for capturing photos.

Remember to clean your phone camera lens.  It makes a big difference!

If you use an iPhone, try your built-in photo filters. I prefer fade, normal or chrome.   Try shots with HDR on too.  You can also take square photos, and panoramic shots.

There’s an App for that…

Edit your photos using your fave apps.  There are exactly four million, six thousand, three hundred and twenty-four photo apps out there.  Don’t get your knickers in a knot.  Here’s a free book that will guide you to the best top drawer, back of the bus, ahhhmazing apps for your iPhone.  I made all the photos in this blog post with those apps.   You’ll also get sahhweeet blog posts from me in your inbox.

Your inbox + My Blog posts = A beautiful thaaaaang

7.  Booking your hotel :

*    Looking for 4 star hotels and on a budget?  Book with hotwire. You will save a boat load of moola and save some serious coin for the Mai Tai’s that you are going to buy me.

*   Looking for luxury but still want to save some smackers?  Check out The Luxe Nomad.  My friend just told me about the site.  They have flash sales on luxury accommodations.  That equals Cabana boys and slushy boozy cocktails.  My bags are packed.

*   Want serious luxury?  The kind of luxury that makes you drool?  The kind of luxury that makes you say  oh.la.la ??

Say no more …

Le Meurice

Book directly with hotels like Le Meurice for incredibly personalized luxurious care.   They just take care of you.

P.S. They also put chocolate on your pillow at night.  Hellooooo.

I recently stayed at Le Meurice for #EmbraceParis.  It was a beautiful event held by Norma from My Beautiful Paris and Carina from Carina Okula Photography.

I embraced everything and anything that had to do with Paris.  I embraced my Le Meurice pillow.  I embraced my Le Meurice slippers.  I embraced the door man.  I embraced the housekeeping gal ( Anyone who delivers chocolate, deserves a hug. )  I embraced the woman in the spa who massaged my face for an hour.

I don’t know what she put on my face, but when she was done I drooled and mumbled the words …

I’ll take that  and that and that.  

Thank.You.Very.Much.

 

For breakfast, I embraced anything that seemed even remotely French.  AKA everything.  I have the muffin top to prove it.

I  wish.  I  may.   I  wish.   I  might.

8.  Pack your luggage like the boss :

Technically, I have no business doling out pointers on packing luggage.  I’m the gal who sits on her luggage while blurting out a prayer to the luggage Gawds.

I sit on my luggage and sweat bullets  :

Close… dammit… CLOSE.  I swear I’ll pack less next time.

Guess what?  I tried a new folding technique and it freaking worked.  It’s the best thing since sliced bread.  I pinky swear promise.  It toats worked.

9.  A scented candle or incense :

Shush your head.  Cue the music.  Chill it.  A scented candle or incense will rock your travelling world.  Your hotel will feel like home when it smells like home.

Okay, I  don’t  have THESE  at  home.  But  still.

My faves are this candle and this Super Hit incense <– oh ehmmm geeeeh

I’ve been using the Volcano candle for f.o.r.e.v.e.r.  It smells soooooo divine.

Truth is, I pretty much hate most scented candles and incense.

They cause me to make this face that resembles this –>> ?*&^%$#@!!

But.But.But… Super Hit Incense changed all that.

It is where I hit my happy place.

Something  Happy :)

10.   Anker Astro Mini phone charger :

Holy batman is this little thing ever packed with a punch.  It’s a wee $20 smackers.  I use the charger constantly on the occasion when I forget to charge my phone.  Like always.

Life  Is  A  Crazy  Straw

The little Astro Mini is a bit bigger than lipstick but smaller than a tampon.  I can’t believe I just said the word tampon.  Ewwwwhhh.

Nuff about that.

What did you think of the travel tips?   

So smoking hot, you should stop drop and roll?!  Yeah.

How about you, hot stuff ?  Ready to spill it?   What are your best travel tips?  Make them good.  You will be graded.

Jokes.

No.

Really.

Do you pack vodka bottles in your socks?  How about a smutty book?  Do you have a fave app?  Spill.  Can I trust you to give me great travel tips?  If so, we can sing koombaya and do trust falls.  You can be my travel BFF.

PS. I tried something new in the bloggy this week.  You may have noticed an Amazon shopping bar in the upper right corner of the blog.  By shopping the amazon products in this blog post and/or in the upper right corner of the blog, it helps to support me as a blogger.  I earn a small commission from the sale which supports my liquorice eating habit.  You won’t pay extra to shop these links.  You will often pay less than retail price.

You are going to want to kiss me again, aren’t you?

Pucker up.

SMOOCH

Shop products here : Anker Astro MiniTrue Lemon ,  c/o Le Meurice , Volcano candle , Super Hit incense