Hey guys. Guess what? I can’t sleep!
What to do when one cant sleep… write a blog post of course.
So… I know I haven’t checked in in a while and I’m kinda thinking that’s a great thing. I’ve done really great this last week. I’m not beating myself up over food and my binge eating is probably the best it’s been in years.
I do have moments that are hard but this journey is about baby steps! Getting back to reality.
Triggers
I’ve been thinking and focusing lately on triggers. Basically things that make me upset or set me up for failure. Most of mine revolve around food and working out. But then I started thinking… I know all about all my negative triggers but what about positive ones?.
Maybe instead of thinking about all these triggers that have negative affects on my life I should focus on positive triggers. Things that make me happy and set me up for success.
Delicious macaroons from The Buttery in Santa Cruz and a pink lemonade (for adults only 
). Eating treats can be a positive trigger and I should make them one. I need to think about what will make me happy and feel confident tomorrow or even a week from now. I definitely get way too caught up in instant happiness. And usually these instant happinesses don’t last. Crashing from instant happiness is hard!
I think with any addiction, the addict thinks only about the moment. I need it now! When healthy people do sometimes think in the moment but focus more on the long term. For instance, looking back over the last two weeks and knowing that I had complete control over my eating, my confidence levels, my happiness is priceless.
A surprising thing… I didn’t know that eating, really truly eating, would cure my food addiction. Today I came home from a full day of classes and I was hungry, it was 5:50 and Max was coming over to take me to dinner at 6:30. Usually I would have pushed myself to not eat anything until dinner, but this sets me up for failure. It’s a negative trigger.
Today I ate Triscuts while I waited. I didn’t count out a serving. I didn’t only eat one. I dove my hand into the box, took out a handful and preceded to wait for Max. This turned out to be a positive trigger. I didn’t over eat at dinner. I didn’t feel bad about myself because I failed at my “diet”. I felt good and happy.
Positive triggers are definitely the way to go. I hope all of you are enjoying the soon to be summer weather! I’m ready for summer vacation! Well… Make that a permanent summer vacation since I’m graduating and there will be no school to go back to in the fall! 
