The world is a scary place. When I turn on the news for a few minutes I am reminded of wars, politics, and tragic events that can cause me to feel overwhelmed with fear and sadness.
As a new mom, there is a natural tendency to want to do everything to protect our children from the world- and for very good reasons. I'll never forget holding my precious baby for the first time and feeling Mama Bear kick in. I did not want anyone to hurt her- or even touch her! A few hours post delivery a nurse came in to prick my daughters foot in order to collect blood for a test. I was angry. Why did they have to do thus to her? Was it medically necessary? I cried as they did it and I saw her fragile body shake in pain. How dare they hurt her!
Parenting is hard. We encounter moments where we want to protect our kids from all harm. Yet, when we do this we can do more harm than good to them.For example, pretend my daughter were seriously ill and needed surgery to live. As a loving parent who wanted the best for her I would proceed the surgery in order to save her life. She would of course be scared, but I would hope she would wake up wanting to be comforted by me and her Daddy.
This is an extreme analogy, but an important one to make. Our kids need us to do what is best for them even though it may not be easy or pain free. What is important for them is to learn to trust us and know we will be there for them during the hard moments. It is easier to allow a small child to learn from the mistake of spending their allowance poorly than it is to teach an eighteen year old how to budget after blowing an entire paycheck. The stakes get higher as they get older. A tricycle accident is pretty minor- but a car accident under the influence tragic.
One of the most difficult tasks we have as parents is to trust God with our children. Every inclination in me is to protect Lillian from harm and keep her safe. Yet my job as a parent is to prepare her for the real and difficult world we live in- not protect her from it. This means it is crucial to allow her to make mistakes so she can experience real consequences which can help her learn from them. There is no way I will be able to control Lillian's environment during her life, so she must learn make wise decisions when I am not there. The only way for her to gain this character traits is through experience. I must gently guide her into life with one hand open, knowing it is my job to release her into a very hard world and being very serious about preparing her for it.
There is no perfect parent, and no perfect plan for parenting. There is a way to parent that brings peace, rest and contentment to both the parent and child. That is by trusting God that He is good and has a plan for our lives.I want to help my baby learn to navigate life with a sense of excitement and adventure. Living with trust in God also means that as parents we can have more fun with our children without the fear of what might "happen". Since Lillian was just a baby we took her out on hikes and still maintained out active lifestyle. She loves it! Some of the most enjoyable hobbies in life take a little risk, and trusting that God is for our good allows us to have fun and enjoy life as a great adventure!
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear,A)"> because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
1 John 4:18"For I know the plansA)"> I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosperB)"> you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29-11God really does have the best planned for our children. He really is worthy of our trust. We can be sure that He is working in their lives. He loves them more than we do. How amazing is that?This is one of those principles that can often be hard to live out practically. Here are a few ways we can live this out practically.1. Remember JesusJesus is the ultimate comforter in our times of trouble. He walked here on earth and knows the difficulties of this life. God the Father and Jesus loved each other very much, and God knew the pain of allowing his son to die for many. He knew the sorrow and fear of losing his son. Yet it was done for our good, so we could know him! God is always working in our lives, and knowing that is comforting. He can even use awful events for good. Remembering Jesus is a source of courage in our daily lives, knowing that God can weave something beautiful out of seemingly mundane events or troublesome times.2. Pray for your childYou don't have to wait for your baby to understand what you are doing. I actually started praying for my daughter as an infant. I pray for her protection and safety. I pray for wisdom as a parent to make good decisions on her behalf. I pray that God would help develop my heart and mind to be a loving, graceful, and wise parent for my daughter. I pray for community in our lives to bring joy and friendship that would bless my daughter. Praying brings me peace, strength, and joy- plus it extinguishes fear faster than anything else!3. Love your childMy heart melts every time my daughter runs to me for a hug. I love to delight in her. However, I am not perfect and sometimes I need to practice loving my daughter. Sometimes life gets busy and I do a poor job at delighting in her and giving her the time and energy she needs to feel cherished. Loving our child means walking side by side with them through life, celebrating moments of accomplishment and holding them during moments of pain or fear. I pray I will be an attentive and intentional parent in truly loving my daughter from the inside out.4. Extend grace to your childGrace does not come natural. Let God catch our children when they fall. "The eternalA)"> God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlastingC)"> arms." Deuteronomy 33:27. Grace allows our children to make mistakes. Grace means to respond to our children with gentleness and love, seeking to understand and help them learn how to grow out of mistakes.