Update Failed?!?

No one likes software updates (unless you're particularly geeky like me, and have a few hours spare to update all your software and drivers, which is rare nowadays) so when you give in and let Windows do a software update, which you never notice the benefit of, has a slight chance of breaking your computer, and during which you can't play any games because the installation process slows your PC down too much, you feel good.  You feel proud that you've done that chore, you've installed "Update for Windows 7" that resolves an issue where a hacker may maliciously take control of your computer.
Amazing timing - as I typed this a particular update installed (graphics card possibly), blanked my screen out and froze the YouTube video I was listening to (a Ross Noble clip should you be interested) showing the problem of updating your computer.
Similarly when you're shutting your work PC down at the end of a day, and it asks you at that point "Do you want to install updates and then shut down?"
No.
No I don't.
I have a laptop that needs locking away.  It's the end of the day.  I don't want to sit here for ten minutes waiting for you to install your updates, that you could have reminded me about at lunch (because you remind me all through the day when I'm busy), so no.  You can wait for your updates.
Then there's the time you give in, you install updates, what happens?

Yes, Windows wants to restart your computer to complete the installation of updates.  As a friend wisely pointed out, when he learns something he doesn't need to have a nap afterwards to remember it.
But that isn't the worst thing about updates.
The worst thing!  The worst thing! Is when you give in, you tell the computer to do its updates, it downloads its updates, it does its thing, and then says...
"UPDATE FAILED."
Update failed?  You mean you went off to Microsoft, found a fix for a random tiny issue that no one is affected by, told me that you wanted some "me time" to apply the update, and when I finally gave in and said yes, you downloaded the thing and then decided it was the wrong color and you didn't really want it after all?!?
I hate computers.  And I hate updates.